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Tuesday, November 26, 2013

52 Weeks of Kindness - Weeks 44 - 48

Time just gets away from me, so it's time to catch up on my good deed doin':

Week 44:
I made little gift bags with hand sanitizer (Bath & Body Works), lip balm, and a little trinket  and left in restrooms throughout the week.

Week 45:
Awhile back I went to a craft sale where one woman was selling handmade jewelry CHEAP ... like nothing over $2.  I stocked up on bracelets and earrings and during this week I left them behind in restrooms, on restaurant tables, window sills...


Week ?
Not sure this one counts, so I won't put a week # on it.  The paper towel dispenser in the women's restroom at work had this awful pink-toned fake marble paper in the little window, so I found a cartoon and slipped it inside instead.  (It says something like "Our computers are down, so we have to do everything manually"). Planning to change this out from time to time.


Week 46:
Put cash in vending machines...kinda boring unless you're the one getting a free snack / soda out of the deal.

Week 47: 
Found leftover jewelry/sanitizer/lip balm in a bag in my car, so dispersed them this week.

Week 48:
This week technically doesn't end until after Thanksgiving, but I wanted to make sure this one got out before because this is a special one.

This whole year-long experiment was inspired because one woman happened to leave something on my desk when I was going through a rough time.  She had no idea, it was just coincidence that she hit the timing just right.  She is someone who is ALWAYS doing nice things for others so this week I wrote a letter explaining how she had inspired me and highlighting a few of the things I had done over the course of the year.  I included cash - I won't say the exact amount, but will say it was my biggest gift yet.  And I'm 99.99% sure she's going to use that cash to brighten someone else's day.  That's just the kind of person she is.
(UPDATE: Shortly after I sent my gift off, the women in the office received a gift from her.  I KNEW she'd spend it on someone else.)


HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Cody Quotes


It's time again for another edition of Cody Quotes - a slice of life with my favorite ten year old.

We were in the car and for whatever reason, I was whistling.  Cody didn't particularly appreciate my efforts because he said:  "Stop that you'll scratch your shackles."

When I asked if he wanted to go do something:
"I only said yes to curry your favor but the real answer is no."


Cody is fond of handing me the magnadoodle and telling me to do something.  Sometimes it's a mall or a house diagram.  Sometimes it's something a little more cryptic - like the logo of a particular company in 1982 or maybe I'm to illustrate some aspect of a story he's written.  While challenging, I can do those.

Tonight, Cody asked me to draw the mask of Fastly who is the leader of the Fastline Gang -- a series of comic books he's written.  And lest you think that's not too hard, you haven't heard all his instructions.  His last advice to me was "and it has to be an 8-bit drawing"

I have no idea what an 8-bit picture looks like, so I just pixelated it - lots of squares into the shape of a mask - and that seemed to appease him.

Me: What college are you going to, Cody?
Cody: BURP 
Me: Burp University? 
Cody: I just do it to add a little slapstick comedy (pause) now you have to slap a stick...


Cody: Dad gave me a UPS truck!  Coville was starving for mail service
Me: That's good.  What kind of town doesn't offer mail service?
Cody: (not missing a beat) an unincorporated one


After spending a half hour drawing "clip ons" for Cody (yeah, try drawing something when you have absolutely no idea what you're supposed to be doing), I must have been dragging my feet with the next task because Cody said:
"Stop acting unenthusiastic, cuz you know I'm going to find out."

When his sister asked him one too many questions, Cody said:
"I simply do not know. I am designed to ask questions, not answer them"


Cody loves lists, so when I went to the store a few weeks ago to pick up a few items, I put Cody in charge of my shopping list.  The problem was that I'd jotted down the ingredients to the recipes I wanted to make, but they were in no particular order, but Cody insisted we pick them up in order.  

So we grabbed cream cheese and had to go all the way back to the baking aisle to get vanilla, then across the store again to get eggs.  Never mind that the cream cheese and eggs were right next to each other in the cooler, we were going by The List. 

And when we were done, we had to line everything up single file:



While we're going over a bridge: "Jumping off bridges gives you cancer"

I said something about "all that crap". Cody gets in my face, bobs a finger up and down like he's flushing a toilet and says "Would you flush that potty mouth?"

Driving through a newer area of town where the houses are bigger than ours, Cody stares out the window and says, "I am completely unimpressed with the look of these mansions. A mansion has to be beautiful in all its proportions."

We've been working on manners lately.  Cody has become rather bossy and demanding, so we often refuse to do whatever it is he asks until he says please.  
Cody: The MagnaDoodle is on the couch.  Bring it to me.
ME: (stare at him without moving)
Cody: NOW!
Me: (continue to stare) P - P - P - P - L - L - L - -
Cody: (stares back) You're having one of those good manners moments, aren't you? Oh fine. PLEASE!

Cody: that was a dulcimer that they just showed.
Me: a dulcimer?
Cody: (with knowing nod) they're European.

After his shower: 
(to my knowledge I hadn't done anything to him)
"Oh boy, you ruined my physical appearance."

C: Hey, don't trousel my hair.
(sis & me): Trousel?
C: You're messing it up
Us: Ohhhhhh...

Cody: Where do tailless dogs go?
Me: I don't know
Cody: To a re-tail store

Out of nowhere:
Back in the Pre-Cambrian era, there was no soap.

Court: Look! How cute! Can we get a pig?
Me: No.  Little pigs turn into big pigs
Court: Not if you make them bacon....

Cody was telling me about something that happened back in 2005. After a thoughtful pause he added, "You know, back when I was illiterate."

COdy was being silly one night and said: Pick your nose.
Me: Eww. I don't want to pick my nose.
To which he replied: I wanna eat lady boogers
(I HOPE he was kidding...)

On picture day at school, Cody decided to wear his tux from Halloween.  He comes into the bathroom to admire himself in the mirror.
Me: Cody, you're looking very James Bondish today.
Cody: Yeah, but without the flower it's really more of a dinner suit.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Hand Me the Dunce Cap...

I know every mother thinks her child is a genius, but other mothers have not had to play with my son.  I seriously need to go back to school so I can keep up with him.  Other ten year olds might be satisfied with a game of catch, going for a bike ride, or maybe playing with some cars.  Not my Coders.  His 'games' are a little more....involved.  And a LOT more cerebral.

Today I came home from work and saw the counter covered in these drawings:



I knew what was coming, even before he made the announcement.

"Tonight, at 8:30, we're going to play Name the Microsoft OS"

That's right.  He mocked up a typical desktop for every Microsoft operating system from Windows 95 to Windows 8.  



I failed miserably.  I got two right, but that's only because he helped by giving me hints (Cody: "Windows nnnnn..." Me: "Windows 95? 97? 98?").  I also increased my odds by recycling answers figuring I'd eventually get one right.  

And when I quizzed him?

He got every single stinking one right.

Not that I'm surprised.  The boy's a genius.

Friday, November 8, 2013

LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE


Found this in the archives and it made me giggle, so I decided to post it.  Enjoy.

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What is it with women and their weight?  You know what I mean.  Women guard their real weight like it's a national secret.  I'm as guilty as anyone. The ONLY humans on the planet who know what I *really* weigh are me and my doctor…and if I could eliminate her (or at least snuff out those three little numbers on chart) I would.  In a heartbeat.



But WHY?  It's not like people can't tell by LOOKING at me that I'm lugging around a few extra pounds. Trust me, there ain't a soul on this planet blessed with the gift of sight who'd believe I'm a svelte 115  not my real weight. Also not my 'fake' weight.  So why the secrecy?  Do I think I can fool them into thinking it's not as bad as I know it is by refusing to quantify it with an actual number?


It's not like they won't figure it out anyway.  I've been having a weight loss contest with my husband the last couple months.    Anyway, I won't tell him my starting weight – or my ending weight for that matter.  We go on the honor system and compare our total loss for the month.  



But, much to my chagrin, the man can add.  Eventually he's going to realize there's no way I could have been 120 pounds not my real weight either. and lose 40 of them without winding up in the hospital in the process.  If he's going to figure it out eventually, why not just come clean now?



Because I can't.  I've been holding onto this secret too long to just let it go willy nilly.



I tell myself it's nobody's business. True.  The general public has no need to know those magic digits. The only person I'd willingly – happily – tell would be an anesthesiologist.  Want to make sure he/she gets those drug dosages just right, thank you very much.  But since I'm not having surgery anytime soon, there's no need to start singing like a canary. Whew.



Want to induce a nationwide panic?  Install secret scales that announce an individual's weight like those speed monitor / traps do in school zones.  Can you imagine strolling down the sidewalk and seeing "Your weight is…. 163" also 
not my real weight. plastered on a billboard for all to see?  ACK. ACK. HEART ATTACK!


Thing is, most men wouldn't care.  The men I know will tell anyone how much they weigh, like they're proud of it.  Amateurs.  I used to tell myself I lied because society had a preconceived notion of what a certain weight should look like.  Of course now I realize if we're ALL fudging our numbers, it's no wonder people have a skewed idea of what 125 pounds ha! guess again. look like.



So maybe the guys are onto something.  Let's take a page out of the men's playbook and stop letting those numbers define us. If someone asks, tell them.  What do I weigh?



145…ish. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!