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Sunday, November 17, 2013

Cody Quotes

It's time again for another edition of Cody Quotes - a slice of life with my favorite ten year old.

We were in the car and for whatever reason, I was whistling.  Cody didn't particularly appreciate my efforts because he said:  "Stop that you'll scratch your shackles."

When I asked if he wanted to go do something:
"I only said yes to curry your favor but the real answer is no."

Cody is fond of handing me the magnadoodle and telling me to do something.  Sometimes it's a mall or a house diagram.  Sometimes it's something a little more cryptic - like the logo of a particular company in 1982 or maybe I'm to illustrate some aspect of a story he's written.  While challenging, I can do those.

Tonight, Cody asked me to draw the mask of Fastly who is the leader of the Fastline Gang -- a series of comic books he's written.  And lest you think that's not too hard, you haven't heard all his instructions.  His last advice to me was "and it has to be an 8-bit drawing"

I have no idea what an 8-bit picture looks like, so I just pixelated it - lots of squares into the shape of a mask - and that seemed to appease him.

Me: What college are you going to, Cody?
Cody: BURP 
Me: Burp University? 
Cody: I just do it to add a little slapstick comedy (pause) now you have to slap a stick...

Cody: Dad gave me a UPS truck!  Coville was starving for mail service
Me: That's good.  What kind of town doesn't offer mail service?
Cody: (not missing a beat) an unincorporated one

After spending a half hour drawing "clip ons" for Cody (yeah, try drawing something when you have absolutely no idea what you're supposed to be doing), I must have been dragging my feet with the next task because Cody said:
"Stop acting unenthusiastic, cuz you know I'm going to find out."

When his sister asked him one too many questions, Cody said:
"I simply do not know. I am designed to ask questions, not answer them"

Cody loves lists, so when I went to the store a few weeks ago to pick up a few items, I put Cody in charge of my shopping list.  The problem was that I'd jotted down the ingredients to the recipes I wanted to make, but they were in no particular order, but Cody insisted we pick them up in order.  

So we grabbed cream cheese and had to go all the way back to the baking aisle to get vanilla, then across the store again to get eggs.  Never mind that the cream cheese and eggs were right next to each other in the cooler, we were going by The List. 

And when we were done, we had to line everything up single file:

While we're going over a bridge: "Jumping off bridges gives you cancer"

I said something about "all that crap". Cody gets in my face, bobs a finger up and down like he's flushing a toilet and says "Would you flush that potty mouth?"

Driving through a newer area of town where the houses are bigger than ours, Cody stares out the window and says, "I am completely unimpressed with the look of these mansions. A mansion has to be beautiful in all its proportions."

We've been working on manners lately.  Cody has become rather bossy and demanding, so we often refuse to do whatever it is he asks until he says please.  
Cody: The MagnaDoodle is on the couch.  Bring it to me.
ME: (stare at him without moving)
Cody: NOW!
Me: (continue to stare) P - P - P - P - L - L - L - -
Cody: (stares back) You're having one of those good manners moments, aren't you? Oh fine. PLEASE!

Cody: that was a dulcimer that they just showed.
Me: a dulcimer?
Cody: (with knowing nod) they're European.

After his shower: 
(to my knowledge I hadn't done anything to him)
"Oh boy, you ruined my physical appearance."

C: Hey, don't trousel my hair.
(sis & me): Trousel?
C: You're messing it up
Us: Ohhhhhh...

Cody: Where do tailless dogs go?
Me: I don't know
Cody: To a re-tail store

Out of nowhere:
Back in the Pre-Cambrian era, there was no soap.

Court: Look! How cute! Can we get a pig?
Me: No.  Little pigs turn into big pigs
Court: Not if you make them bacon....

Cody was telling me about something that happened back in 2005. After a thoughtful pause he added, "You know, back when I was illiterate."

COdy was being silly one night and said: Pick your nose.
Me: Eww. I don't want to pick my nose.
To which he replied: I wanna eat lady boogers
(I HOPE he was kidding...)

On picture day at school, Cody decided to wear his tux from Halloween.  He comes into the bathroom to admire himself in the mirror.
Me: Cody, you're looking very James Bondish today.
Cody: Yeah, but without the flower it's really more of a dinner suit.


Kim said...

OMG, this could have been past conversations at my house!

There's less of the random stuff now, most of the information that is spewed is relative to what The Boy is watching on TV or viewing online.

Bish Denham said...

These are great! He could be a character in a book. I'm sure of thought of that, right? :)

Little Ms J said...

These are awesome and I think it is great that you're keeping them for posterity. Or humiliation.

My 2.5 year old this morning:

Me: Ok, put on your Pull Ups.
Her: Mom, it's not pull ups. It's A pull up.

Dear Lord.