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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

How to Avoid an Untimely Death

I've decided to quit being so dagummed nice all the time. Why?  It's a hazard to my health and safety.  Don't believe me?  Read on.
A recent news story online about a woman's mysterious disappearance contained a handful of quotes from friends and family affirming what a nice woman she was - how she had a heart of gold and always helped everybody.
It struck me that they ALWAYS say that about anyone who gets murdered, dies in a tragic accident, or succumbs to a fatal disease.  

Think about it.  Does anyone ever say, "He was a bastard.  We're better off without him." Nope.  That means only NICE people meet untimely demises and I'd rather not be one of them, so I'm going to be as cranky, difficult, and downright bitchy as possible.  My apologies in advance.  Errr, wait...I take that apology back.  (This might be more difficult than I thought)
Only one thing concerns me, though.  Whenever the police track down a serial killer or someone who has done heinous, unspeakable things what do the neighbors always say?  "He was a quiet sort.  Kept mostly to himself."
I'm a quiet sort.  I keep mostly to myself. 

So y'all better steer clear - might be my newly acquired bad attitude becomes a hazard to  your well-being.

On another semi-related note - there was a news story today about the death of a teenager.  Now I missed whether it was illness, accident, or violence that was to blame, but from the tone of the story I'm voting for the latter.  Tragic, to be sure...but they zoomed in on a makeshift memorial where people were leaving messages to the deceased and his family.

Almost every one of them signed off with YOLO (you only live once) which, under the circumstances, seemed highly inappropriate. Isn't YOLO intended to be an encouragement to go ahead and take a chance on something not something you say to a friend's grieving family?    

Your thoughts?


Saumya said...

You are SO right. Nobody ever says, "Well, he/she sucked." I realized I was too nice a while ago and am still trying to strike the balance between assured and kind.

Val said...

Something tells me I don't have to worry about that niceness thing.

LTM said...

My thoughts are that YOLO on a teen memorial is very strange... ?

But LOL! omg. As usual, you are CRACKIN me UP! Ha hahaha quiet sort.

I've got my eye on you now. *does the two-fingers thing* ;o) <3

Wendy Ramer said...

You're so right...only the good die young. You should write a song about it. Oh wait, Billy Joel did an excellent job of that years ago, so never mind. And you're also right about YOLO - inappropriate for sure in those circumstances.