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Thursday, March 29, 2012

Cody Quotes

I'm still on hiatus, but Cody has been dropping golden quotes left and right lately, so I thought I'd throw them up to keep everyone entertained while I'm away.

How do you slap a finger?!?
It's practically impossible to slap a finger.
(tries slapping tip of his finger with the palm of his hand)
ugh ooh omph

I'm in the bathroom getting ready for work.  Cody comes in and says, "What do you smell like?"
Me: Like a mother?
He gets down on all fours and sniffs my ankles like a bloodhound, "No.  All stinky and crumpled up."

Cody hands me the magnadoodle
"I want you to write a description of under the sea"
"Use your best handwriting"
I sit wondering if I can get by with writing deep water, seaweed and fish
"Oh, and it HAS to be in Calibri font"

Cody's nails grow really fast.  One morning after having clipped them yet again, he looks at his hands and says, "Ooooooh.  My precious scratchers."

While cooking breakfast one morning, Cody asks, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Me: It was dinner time?
Me: He had to lay an egg?
Me: I don't know, why did the chicken cross the road, Cody?
Cody: I don't know.  What does a chicken have to do with a road?

As he was heading to bed one night he says, "I have much more better grammar than George and Harold."

When dinner wasn't ready on time:
It's way past dinner time.  I guess I'll just rip my face off.

While driving in the car, we were listing three things that drive us crazy.  I forget what was on my list, but Cody's (of course) was very distinctive...
Me: So, Cody.  What drives YOU crazy?
C: Fat women who where sombreros and sunglasses inside, kitties, and cute music.

Driving home after dinner one day:
Cody: You suck Kiersten.
Me: HEY! That's not....
Cody: What?  She has a suck-er.  Kiersten sucks

During one of the few days when it snowed:
Cody: I hate the sight of winter and the veil of cold

One day, Cody hands me the Magnadoodle.
C: Draw me a tree
Me: A big tree or a little tree?
C: A big tree
I show him my handiwork, and he puts his stuffed puppy next to my drawing and says
C: Draw poops coming out
and so I did....

And the best for last...

Cody is downstairs playing Wii (Mario Kart) with Kiersten.  I hear him jumping around, doing the Potty Dance. "Pause it. Pause it. I gotta go to the bathroom." 

So he climbs the stairs because even though there's a toilet ten feet from him down there, he can only use the upstairs bathroom.  As he gets to the top of the stairs, he says in his best weather man's voice:

"There's a pee storm raging in the upper penis...."

Monday, March 19, 2012

Too Funny

I'm still MIA -- I'll fill you all in on the gory details when I get back, but in the meantime this video made me laugh my butt off: