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Monday, February 13, 2012

Mock Me Monday - Jelly Roll

I want you to do me a favor.  If I ever mention any craft, recipe, or "idea" that involves rolling something up "like a jelly roll" I want you to smack me hard and fast to bring me back to my senses.

A few years ago daughterling wanted to make a yule log for school -- an edible kind, not a papier mache replica.  In just a couple short hours we completely destroyed the kitchen and our log looked like it survived a tornado, a hurricane, and a blender.

I wish I was kidding.

But that was a couple years ago and the pain and suffering has faded.  That's the only explanation I can think of that explains my delusional belief that I could make this:


It looks good doesn't it?  The recipe and directions can be found over at A Delightsome Life Blog 

So, I got up this morning and mixed up the eggs, sausage, and cheese.  I rolled out my bread dough into a large rectangle, just as instructed.

That's where the similarities end.  Eggs are slippery little devils, my friends.  I TRIED to roll the damn thing up, but it kept unrolling itself.  I stretched the dough and tucked it under the roll only to have it come undone again.  

Meanwhile, egg and sausage leaked out the ends which I gotta tell you was kinda gross.  It looked like my bread had a sudden and persistent case of diarrhea and that is a BAD association to make with your breakfast. 

I tried pinching the ends closed, but it's like they were coated in baby oil.  No way were those things going to stay put.

And so in the end....this is what my sad bread looked like:

Which kind of reminds me of a trilobyte, don't you think?


I'll have to blindfold my family before breakfast...I wonder if they'll think that's weird?


Val said...

Well, I'm a science teacher. And that thing does not remind me of a trilobite. It looks more like a fetal pig. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Any breakfast that brings science knowledge to the forefront is a good breakfast indeed.

Nicole MacDonald said...

Yeah, I'm seeing the fetal pig too...

SA Larsenッ said...

Hahah...this is too funny! But the constant reference to a fetal pig is making me queasy. :)

Kim said...

I was thinking the baby that came out of Sigourney Weaver in Alien (or was it Aliens)?

I suck at anything dough-related - I'm sticking with batter. And I want to try a pumpkin roll, but I am afraid to try.

LTM said...

BAH HAHAHAHAHA!!! "a sudden and persistent case of diarrhea"... *snort* :D And it does look like a trilobite... *sniggle* oh, lord. You just cracked me all the way up, V. But you're braver than I am. I'd never even attempt this. Good work~ :o) <3