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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Dubious Honor

You don't know this about me, but I have a way with toilets.

Gimme a toilet and I can make it overflow without even trying.  I think:
(a) I have an uncanny knack for choosing the *one* toilet on the verge of malfunction and
(b) there are a lot of people in this world who aren't getting nearly enough fiber

Over the years I've had toilets overflow on me at school, at friend's houses, at gas stations and restaurants.  Generally speaking it's not my fault...but you know how humiliating it is to have to tell someone their toilet is gushing sewage all over their floor.  They automatically think it's you are the one with the fiber deficiency.

It's kinda like going into a public restroom where the air is toxic.  You assume whomever just left made the stink, and if it's still present when YOU are leaving, the next person thinks its you.  Just the way it is...doesn't make it right, but that's the rules we live by.

I've learned to always make sure I'm completely put back together before trying to flush, just in case I need to make a quick escape from an encroaching tidal wave.  You can't run very well with pants around your ankles, just in case you were wondering.

I've also learned that when you can't stop the rising water, you should turn the water supply off at the back of the tank.

I'm back on the exercise bandwagon.  My goal is to go to the gym every day in January.  I usually go over lunch so I have my evenings free.  As part of this new health kick, I've been drinking a lot more water -- which of course means I've been visiting the restroom much more frequently. 

So today at the gym I did my business before leaving the locker room -- and don't you know I picked the wrong stall.  I flushed and the water kept coming up...and up...and UP.


There happened to be a plunger beside the toilet (coincidence? I think not) so I quickly try plunging the dang thing.

It didn't work.

I turn the water supply off and head toward the office but there's no one there.  It's only staffed a couple hours a day, and they're not due back until late afternoon/evening.

What to do?  What are my moral obligations here?

I'm embarrassed to say I ignored the mess and did my thing on the elliptical.
I did lock the stall door before going on my merry way.  How bad is that?


Theresa Milstein said...

Poor you! How can you keep having such bad luck. That happened to me once at my now husband's house. My poor mother-in-law.

I would've said I noticed it, but not that I did it. They would think it was me anyway.

Jules said...

LOL, sorry but you crack me up you poor thing. :) So now will someone have to crawl under the stall and threw the spew to fix the toilet?
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Creepy Query Girl said...

Bad toilet karma huh? lol. Maybe you plugged toilets on purpose in a past life. I would have done the same thing! Over flowing toilets skeeve me out.

DL Hammons said...'re toilet impaired?!? :)

Miranda Hardy said...

What horrible curse some one has placed on you. Of course, it's to our amusement though. Lol

April Plummer said...

OMG, you crack me up! Yay for you though, getting to the gym every day this month! I have my own mini gym in the basement. I call it my workout cove. My elliptical, a wall-mounted flatscreen, a bunch of Jillian Michaels' DVDs, yoga mats, kettle bells and hand weights. I probably workout 4-5 times a week. I shoot for 5 but more often than not end up with 4.

ANYway, you really don't have luck with toilets. But I gotta say that it must come in handy sometimes to have such a widespread knowledge about how to fix an overflowering toilet. LOL. The worst for us was when our master bathroom toilet overflowed. We'd spent the whole night doing a "slumber party" with our little one in the living room and woke up to a drip...drip...

Thankfully, my husband owns and runs a drywall/paint contracting company and turns mudding into an art form. So he fixed the ceiling.

Carolyn V said...

I think you were smart to lock the stall and leave, especially if you did all that you could. (I hate overflowing toilets.)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Vicki, I laughed all the way through this. (Sorry, I guess that was at your expense.) Hey, you did the best you could at the gym. Just wait until someone tries to crawl under to unlock the door...

Bish Denham said...

You and your bathroom humor! :) I would probably have left a note. I like that my gym is small and there is ALWAYS someone there.

Ashley Ashbee said...

I've always been afraid of this happening to me, even though I have no reason to think it will. I'm glad I now know what to do -- sorry I found out at your expense.