See these? At the time I thought they'd be festive. A sunny yellow with seasonal red and green, what could be more cheerful and fun? (don't answer that)
But now that I've had a full night's sleep and the fumes have cleared, I'm having second thoughts. All I can think is tacky tacky tacky.
And the weird thing is if you were to come in right now (assuming you are a female -- I hate to resort to traditional gender roles because I fully support the right of everyone to wear nail polish if that's what their little ol' heart desires, but the fact is that most of my readers are women and the few men that do come around aren't of the nail-polish wearing variety. I don't think. But maybe I'm wrong.)
Where was I? Ah yes, if you were to come up to me right now with yellow nails and red and green polkie dots, I'd admire your nails. I'd tell you how festive they looked and would even mull over the possibility of doing my own.
But since I have done it to my own I'm feeling a little foolish -- kinda like I've got pig tails on my fingers. Not real pig tails mind you because that's just a really mean thing to do to a pig -- I'm talking about the braided hair variety.
You may not know this about me but I have a thing against anyone over the age of ohhhh say eight wearing pigtails. Geez, I'm just being all kinds of judgmental and snarky today aren't I? For the record, men who may or may not like to wear nail polish this pigtail thing is an equal opportunity discriminator. But the only male I know who falls victim to this particular fashion crime is Willie Nelson and I'm pretty sure he's not going to be reading this blog and therefore won't be offended.
So assuming my hair was long enough to wear in pony / pig tails (why are they named after the backside of animals, I wonder?) then I would be feeling incredibly stupid which is the point I'm trying to make about my nails. I'm pretty sure it was a mistake, but what can I do?
Don't tell me to take it off because I'm at work as I type this and I don't carry nail polish remover with me. And the only other person in the office is my boss and he is decidedly NOT the nail polish wearing sort.
The other weird thing - let's face it, my life is full of weird things -- is that when I was younger I used to do the most unusual things to my nails. I had stripes and dots and little landscapes. I'd spell things on them and even pierced my thumbnails when they were long enough. I had this shirt with flags from all around the world and I would paint my nails to match it. I really like those countries like Japan and France and Germany that have mega-easy flags to duplicate. I think this prejudice against my nails, and pigtails, and might be (gasp) a sign of me getting older.
This this post make you a little dizzy? Maybe a little nauseous? Sorry. It'll wear off, let me just put the cap back on the nail polish...