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Monday, October 24, 2011

Mock Me Monday - The Dressing Room

I'm going to Mexico in a couple weeks. I'm not trying to make you jealous, though I'm okay with it if you are.  You see, I'm normally the one who sulks at home while everyone else visits exotic locations -- and in the heart of winter, I'm especially envious.  But this year -- for the first time ever -- it's MY turn.

The problem is that not many of my warm-weather clothes survived the summer intact.  The good news is that all of the summer clothes are hanging on the clearance racks in the stores.  The selection isn't that great, but hey -- no one knows me in Mexico.

So this weekend, I saw this super cute black and white halter dress.  This is the closest thing I could find in my 30 second Google Image search:

I snatched it off the rack -- the last one in my size.  It was meant to BE!  I could already see myself trouncing (yes, I trounce) along the beach in my new dress.  It'd even serve as a decent cover up.  


So in the dressing room, I examine the dress to see if there were any zippers or other potential hurdles.  There was a built in bra with some extended lining.  I slip my hands through the bottom of the skirt and through the top then try to pull it over my head an down to my hips.

Only it won't budge.

I've somehow got the lining tangled up and I'm STUCK.  I can sorta see myself in the mirror through the fabric and it's not pretty.  My hands are flopping around out of the top as I squirm and thrash trying either to pull it off or on the rest of the way.  

I start to worry I might not get it off.  What then?  Will I have to ask a stranger for help? Determined to avoid that humiliation, I finally manage to pull the damn thing over my head.

That's when I discover it's not a halter dress at all.  It's a swim suit.  It's no wonder I got tangled.

From now on, I'm not shopping alone.  I might need someone to use the Jaws of Life to get me out of an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction.


Al said...

Thanks for sharing an amusing tale!

I love the line 'unfortunate wardrobe malfunction'

Dianne K. Salerni said...

I HATE shopping for clothes. There must be something faulty in my genetic design, because many women have assured me this isn't normal.

I'm glad you were able to get yourself out of that thing without calling for help!

salarsenッ said...

So your first few sentences could have been written by me! Not to be nosy but when are you heading to Mexico? Believe it or not, in a few weeks my hubby and I are heading there for our 20th anniversary. We NEVER go anywhere, either!!

Creepy Query Girl said...

LOL! I bought a summer dress like that too and got caught. It turned out the bottom was shorts- not a skirt. They should really label things better in these cases. lol

vic caswell (aspiring-x) said...

ohmygoodness!!! i could JUST imagine them needing to pick the lock to get to you, pull the door open and reveal the vicki burrito to the entire department store!
maybe they'd need to call the fire department!

my kids get stuck in their clothes all the time.
when they were just babies they'd freak out for the few moments their shirts (onesies whatev) were over their heads- like they were suddenly lost in a strange dark world.

Tara said...

Bahaha! I only laugh because I have so been there.

I am jealous.

Have a great time. :)

Dawn Ius said...

Ha! Love these posts. I always laugh out loud :-)

Anonymous said...

Makes me glad that I don't do much clothes shopping. Glad you were able to get yourself untangled.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That's why I hate clothes shopping.

Melanie Sherman said...

It is so terrifying to shop alone. I've been stuck, too. Well, um, not in a swimsuit that I thought was a dress or anything (tee hee hee), but in some other contraption of torture. I think it was a shirt, with vice-like layers, similar to thumbscrews from the Spanish Inquisition.

I'm very glad you were able to escape.

Have fun in Mexico.

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

Yay you're going to Mexico! I hope you take lots of sun screen...

I have a no purchase policy if I have any trouble putting on an outfit.

When do you leave?

LTM said...

BAH!!! I can just see you struggling in the dressing room. *snort* Once in HS, I was trying on a bikini w/my mom in the room. Well, I didn't get the top fastened all the way, and when I turned around to say, "What do you think?" it flew off and hit her right in the face... LOL!

*sigh* bathing-suit shopping is always fun. ;p

Lola Sharp said...

*snort* Oh man, unfortunate wardrobe malfunction indeed! Jaws of life! Bwahahaha! (I'm totally laughing WITH you, not AT. Judgement-free, mock-free laughter.)
I think we've ALL had our run-ins with wardrobe malfunctions (pants that split at the crotch seam whilst on a date, anyone? *raises hand*). I'm glad you survived to tell the funny tale. :)

And I hope you have a wonderful, trounce-y, flouncy, umbrella cocktail swilling vacation!