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Friday, May 6, 2011

Cats & Onions

For an intelligent woman, I do a lot of dumb things sometimes.  I've provided you with a whole year's worth of Mock Me Moments, so you don't need to try to reassure me to the contrary.  Sometimes I do totally brilliant things and so they tend to balance each other out.

Today, for your amusement,I'm going to tell you what cats and onions have in common. 

For example (ahem, this falls under the stupid category not the brilliant), I go to Subway for lunch on a fairly regular basis.  It's quick, affordable, and better for me than fast food.  I have a problem, though.  Every time I go determined to stay clear of the onions and every time I hear myself including them in the lineup: lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle.  I like the taste of onions, they jazz up a plain ol' sandwich.  When I was a kid, I used to eat green onions like crazy.  But after the sandwich is gone, the onions stay with me.  I can disguise the breath easily enough, but I can not stop myself from burping them for the next hour.

For the record, I also love cats.  They're so soft and cute.  I can't resist reaching out to pet them, though I know I shouldn't.  I'm allergic to those adorable little furballs and even if I wash my hands and face after petting one, I'm going to pay the price all afternoon with the uber itchy eyes. 

So, what do cats and onions have in common?  I should avoid them both, but just can't bring myself to make the sacrifice.

This connecting of two seemingly unrelated items ought to be a regular feature, so if you want to leave two words in the comments, I'll see what I can do.

Oh, and if you haven't left a character sketch for me, you can do that HERE.  You can't hear my evil laughter, but trust me it's there...

9 comments:

GigglesandGuns said...

It is so you to make us laugh with with onions and kittens in the same post.
Have a great weekend.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Well, if you breathe onions on the cat, that should take care of one problem...

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I only love onions that are cooked. My husband (while we were dating) would make grilled cheese and onion sandwiches. Great. But the onions were still raw. :P

I took over and grilled the onions first.

Of course, then I had to train him not to store the cut raw onion with the cheese. #yaymenRtrainable :D

salarsenッ said...

You are too funny. I love your truthfulness. Two words: arthritis cream & grass. :)

Jules said...

Maybe you should try furry onions and bald cats to see if you get the same reaction. :)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Clarissa Draper said...

I love onions! I always eat them and sometimes they cause me to have heartburn but it's so worth it.

I love cats too but I draw the line at not being able to breath.

Happy weekend.

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Why do we always love the things that are bad for us? ;)

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

I love onions and cats (but not together)!

BECKY said...

You are soooo goofy, Vicki! But of course, that's one of the reasons I like you! :D
Hmmm...did you have onions the day we had lunch together at the conference in St. Louis??!!