What is this?
If you answered cell phone, you're wrong.
Okay okay, technically you're correct but it's not the answer I was looking for.
This is what's known as the Bad Mom Billboard.
If you have a teenager with a cell phone, you'll identify with this. At least I hope you do because I really don't want to be the only one.
It works like this:
I ask my darling daughter to do the dishes.
Or clean her room.
Or pick up the socks/shoes/book/whatever she left in the middle of the living room floor.
First, I get the eye roll. Possibly accompanied by the classic indignant snort.
I reassert my position.
Once she realizes I'm serious and really do expect her to do *that* (whatever it might be), out comes the cell phone. She punches the buttons furiously with a fiendish look on her face; part sadistic grin and part menacing scowl.
Often, it's a self-righteous text to a commiserating friend..
But sometimes, it's a cryptic status update on Facebook. I know it's directed at me, but it's just vague enough I can't accuse her of anything.
She's good like that.
Necessary back story: my girls complain almost every morning about their stomach being upset. I think it's called HUNGER, but they won't listen. Anyhow, a few years back I got a call from school that my daughter had thrown up. I picked her up and brought her home, but she was fine. Next day, the same thing. After THREE days of this, I discovered she was only spitting up a bit of phlegm. She'd had a cold and after a week or so it stopped...with brief recurrences in the years since.
This morning, she complained her stomach was upset.
I didn't pay much attention, since I literally hear this 3-4 times a week from one of the kids.
She locks herself in the bathroom and then proclaims that she'd thrown up. I look in the wastebasket she's left for me as evidence. There's just a tiny bit of yellow-like bile in the bottom. I declared her fit to go to school.
Ohhhh, she didn't like that. Nope. Ironically, the energy she spent arguing with me kinda proved my point -- she wasn't sick.
But out came the Bad Mom Billboard and she pasted this beauty on facebook for the world to see:
Do your kids do this kind of thing? Please say yes....or just lie to me.
(unrelated side note -- this would have been my parents' 60th wedding anniversary)