Join the Madness

Friday, April 15, 2011

BEWARE of the BMB!

 Sorry I'm late, blogger didn't post this when it was supposed to. Grrr.
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What is this?

If you answered cell phone, you're wrong.  

Okay okay, technically you're correct but it's not the answer I was looking for.


This is what's known as the Bad Mom Billboard.  

If you have a teenager with a cell phone, you'll identify with this.  At least I hope you do because I really don't want to be the only one.

It works like this:  

I ask my darling daughter to do the dishes.

Or clean her room.

Or pick up the socks/shoes/book/whatever she left in the middle of the living room floor.

First, I get the eye roll.  Possibly accompanied by the classic indignant snort.

I reassert my position.

Once she realizes I'm serious and really do expect her to do *that* (whatever it might be), out comes the cell phone.  She punches the buttons furiously with a fiendish look on her face; part sadistic grin and part menacing scowl.


Often, it's a self-righteous text to a commiserating friend..


But sometimes, it's a cryptic status update on Facebook.  I know it's directed at me, but it's just vague enough I can't accuse her of anything.


She's good like that.


Necessary back story:  my girls complain almost every morning about their stomach being upset. I think it's called HUNGER, but they won't listen.  Anyhow, a few years back I got a call from school that my daughter had thrown up. I picked her up and brought her home, but she was fine.  Next day, the same thing.  After THREE days of this, I discovered she was only spitting up a bit of phlegm.  She'd had a cold and after a week or so it stopped...with brief recurrences in the years since.


This morning, she complained her stomach was upset. 

I didn't pay much attention, since I literally hear this 3-4 times a week from one of the kids.


She locks herself in the bathroom and then proclaims that she'd thrown up.  I look in the wastebasket she's left for me as evidence.  There's just a tiny bit of yellow-like bile in the bottom.  I declared her fit to go to school.


Ohhhh, she didn't like that.  Nope.  Ironically, the energy she spent arguing with me kinda proved my point -- she wasn't sick.


But out came the Bad Mom Billboard and she pasted this beauty on facebook for the world to see:
just threw up. but, dont worry,
I'm "not actually sick" according to my mother.
So I guess you should all go to her
for your medical problems because she's a doctor now.


Do your kids do this kind of thing?  Please say yes....or just lie to me.  


(unrelated side note -- this would have been my parents' 60th wedding anniversary)




22 comments:

Justine Dell said...

Hmm...yes?

Okay, that's a lie, though. Sorry. I think my daughter is secretly afraid that if she does something like that on FB that we will take away her horse. And her horse is her life.

However, she IS a hypochondriac (not sure I spelled that right) and is always "ill" or something is always "hurt". I, however, with my mean mom syndrome, force the child to suck it up and go to school. This has only backfired twice, so I think I'm good. ;-)

You are too. No worries, Vicki. Moms need to be tough!

~JD

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Stephen Tremp said...

I have to laugh as my kids always complain of an upset stomach. But give them something warm and nutritous to eat and miracle of miracles, they feel better. Then its off to scholl they go.

Katie Mills said...

omg that is so teen angsty! No bad mom billboard as of yet (kids are too small. in fact, I don't think I'll teach them to type) but I do see my young cousins posting similar messages about their mothers.

Bish Denham said...

Oof. Well, if it were me and it was my kid, that phone would be gone and so would her FB account. It's one thing to b**ch at you in the privacy of your own home, but on the internet? No way, wouldn't be tolerated in my house. Particularly if I'm paying the phone and internet bills.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Yep, my daughter does the stomach ache thing (not that she goes to the same extreme). My sons don't.

None of my kids are on FB yet. Too young.

I love you posting at this time. Then I get to see your post in my dashboard. The other time is too early. You posts disappear among hundreds of others. Blogger has burned me too many times. ;)


Blogger did the same thing to my QT blog post this morning. Grrr. Once it was 20 minutes late because Blogger didn't post it and I had to manually do it. Only I didn't realize it because I was too busy blogging. I ALWAYS check first thing when I get up that MY post has gone up.

Talli Roland said...

Oh dear. I'm sorry, but I kinda giggled at this a bit! It's so typically teenage!

Kate said...

My 19yr old niece uses facebook as a weapon- either to rant against her parents/friends/life or to flatter her parents/family/friends if she wants something. I like the idea of taking away her texting/facebooking privileges (and most phone companies can block out-going texting). Or just take screen shots of all her snotty facebook rants, print them out and keep them in a folder to show her when she becomes a parent someday. :)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I'll have to lie to you, because I don't have kids.
60th wedding anniversary? That would've been something!

Bethany Elizabeth said...

Luckily, I didn't have a facebook when I was in that phase. :) Have you thought about just not looking at her facebook page? Those little snippy comments can hurt, and chances are your daughter is just reacting angrily without thinking in the way her generation knows how, so taking them seriously probably isn't a good idea.
Hopefully things will work out though. :) I'm so glad I don't have kids - I'm only 20 though, so that's probably a good thing. :)

Bethany Elizabeth said...

Luckily, I didn't have a facebook when I was in that phase. :) Have you thought about just not looking at her facebook page? Those little snippy comments can hurt, and chances are your daughter is just reacting angrily without thinking in the way her generation knows how, so taking them seriously probably isn't a good idea.
Hopefully things will work out though. :) I'm so glad I don't have kids - I'm only 20 though, so that's probably a good thing. :)

Melissa Sarno said...

oh my goodness, teenagers scare me. ;-) I did not have facebook or texting when I was a teen, but thank goodness I didn't. I would have been the exact same way.

Theresa Milstein said...

I'm so sorry you're daughter is using social networking to badmouth you.

I'm a bad mom because my 12-year-old son doesn't have a cell phone.

He says it all to my face.

Lynda R Young said...

This made me laugh so hard. I don't have kids and yet I can relate.

puffalump said...

Well, I err on the side of caution unfortunately. One time I sent #3 to school with stomach pains thinking he was just excited about his birthday that day. At 3:00 we were rushing him to the emergency room for appendicitis. Another time the kid threw up as soon as they got to school and had a fever. And yet another time #2 had an asthma attack so bad it landed him in ICU. So unless I can prove otherwise I cave and let them stay home.

Susanne Drazic said...

Sorry to hear about what you are going through. I can't say I'm going through the same thing, but I do feel bad for you. Sending a smile your way.
: )

GigglesandGuns said...

Have to go with Bish on this one.
Teen years are hard on everyone.

Val Thevictorian said...

Here's a younger, low-tech example.

When my son was six, I sent him to his room for a time-out. Because I ignored his attention-seeking requests for release, beverages, and food, he wrote me a note: I hate you. He attached the note to a remote-control car, and drove it down the hall and into the kitchen.

Genius was driving blind once his vehicle entered the kitchen. It ran into several obstacles and backed up. I put his RC car upside down on the cutting block. After much spinning of wheels, and a whispered conference with his little brother, Genius realized that he wasn't getting his car back.

The thing that upset him the most was that I wouldn't give the NOTE back. I told him I was going to save it until I needed it.

It's all fun and games until Mom latches onto some blackmail material.

BECKY said...

Oh...It's times like this I'm glad I don't have any daughters! :)
I, too, agree with the taking privileges away for awhile, etc. You don't deserve that!!

Reb's photo world said...

I don't have kids, but I can see teenagers doing this. Funny how they can use the gifts you bestow on them against you.

This totally fits in with my thoughts that kids don't NEED cell phones. Does she not realize that you can take that phone away? You should suspend it on her!!!!

Nicole MacDonald said...

*lol* Ooooh tkanks for reminding me yet again why I'm happily child-free ;p What a wee drama queen! You're far nicer about it than my mum was :) And cellphones were forbidden as 'you've survived 14+ years without them so you don't need one' - they were still kinda new in NZ when I was a teen.
Damsel in a Dirty Dress

Margo Berendsen said...

My oldest is 9, so I'm spared so far, except for the eye-rolling. She's already campaigning for a cell phone. Bad Mom Billboard - I do NOT like the sound of that! How do you resist the urge to perform retribution in the form of cell phone shut offage?