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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Proof There Is A God...And He Loves Me

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My children have a problem with flushing the toilets in this house.  Short of installing video surveillance in the bathrooms, I'm not sure I can pinpoint who the real culprit is.  Might be all three, or it might only be one.  No one ever claims responsibility for the unflushed gifts left behind.  

They figured out a long time ago that because there are three of them, Mom and Dad are never 100% sure who the guilty party is unless someone cracks confesses.

My children also have an apparent phobia when it comes to changing the toilet paper roll.  Again, short of installing a camera in the bathroom there's not a lot I can do about this.

I'd consider the spy cam, but I'm pretty sure  the Department of Health & Humans Services frowns on that kind of thing from parents.

ANYWAY

The other morning, I noticed the toilet paper roll was empty (again), so I grabbed a fresh roll. This is also when I noticed yet another "gift" waiting in the toilet bowl.  I pushed the handle down just before I unhooked the spring-loaded tissue tube to make the switch.

That's when one half of the tube jumped out of my hand (definitely spring-loaded), bounced OFF the toilet seat and onto the floor.

How it missed landing in the toilet bowl, I'll never know.  

If it had landed in the bowl, chances are good it would have been sucked down the drain since I'd just flushed.  

And if it had gone down the drain, chances are even better that it would have become lodged somewhere along the line and THAT would lead to an expensive plumbing bill.  

(Unless, of course, I had enough presence of mind to reach into the contaminated bowl and retrieve the part before it was forced down the drain...say it with me:  ewwwwww)

So, it's official.

There IS a God, and he LOVES me because that one little piece landed on the floor and I didn't have to go diving in after it....and subsequently sanitize my hand for the next 3 hours.

21 comments:

Missed Periods said...

Well, on the bright side, it is kind of cool that your kids aren't tattletales. I would have totally told on my sister.

Al said...

Al cringes at the memory of all the ewwwwww moments he has been through.

Bish Denham said...

Hey, look at this way, they are saving water!

Hannah Kincade said...

I'm amazed yet grossed out because my mind goes to if that did happen. And now I want to wash my hands.

Shannon said...

LOL, Vicki.

I'm with Hanna...amazed and grossed out at the same time. /shudder

I need the Lysol.

Amie B said...

LOL - too funny! my cousin once dropped an entire roll in the toilet. my mom had to fish it out. she never did mention if the bowl was mellowing or had a brown trout. don't think i want to know either.

Katie Mills said...

lol- well, it must have been the toilet gods! You should know them since you're writing about their plight! lol.

Angela Felsted said...

lol Thank goodness things worked out!

aspiring_x said...

hahahahahAAHAHAH!!!
:)

LTM said...

see? I do this. I find these bizarre little examples of how God is alive and well and looking out for me. LOL!!!

I can name your culprets. Son = non flusher. And not b/c he's a boy! It's his age. BOTH of mine went through that stage from 6-8 yrs. The non-roll-changer is the 15 yr-old. Or your husband. LOL! :D <3 xoxo

Stina Lindenblatt said...

HA! I'm positive it would have landed in the toilet for me because soemething like always happens TO ME. ;)

My 8 yo son is bad at not flushing too. My 11 yo was the same when he was 8. I'm still trying to figure out who has the aim issues, though I suspect I already know. :P

Carolyn V. said...

Whew! You're so lucky!!!! Yuck.

There is a similar problem at our home. Unfortunately, it's my son who is always calling me from the bathroom to tell me there is no toilet paper for him. It's happened at least twice this week. I should just leave a new roll in there for his sanity. =)

Clarissa Draper said...

The other day a small roll which sits on the back of the toilet (because no one changes the roll in my house) fell in. I have to dish it out because we can't put toilet paper in the toilet in the lovely country of Mexico(a story for another time). I'm just thankful there were no cute little deposits for me.

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Dude, that's exactly where my mind went. Ewwwwwwww...

So glad you didn't have to do the horrible and dive in after it. Consider that your miracle for the week!

Dawn said...

Oh thank goodness. My house is not the only one that has phantom toilet lid leaver uppers. I can put toilet paper rolls under the bathroom sink and STILL it never seems to make it on to the roll until I give up and do it myself. Argh.

Chris Phillips said...

put that stuff that glows under a blacklight on the flusher handle, then take the kids with that junk on their hands out for icecream and ground the other one.

Candyland said...

Hahaha. It's the little things in life, isn't it?!

Theresa Milstein said...

I'm glad someone loves you enough to keep the toilet paper from causing a plumbing catastrophe.

Perhaps you should wait at bathroom exits and escort the person back into the room for a double-check. That should stop it.

Or college.

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

Ah, parenting with more than one child...I know who done it in my house...It's usually the husband. :)

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

Oh, that's left the seat up...we're pretty good flushers at my house...

Lenny Lee* said...

hi miss vicki! yikes i gotta be careful what i say bout flushng and putting paper on the roll. im not saying not one more word. ha ha.
...hugs from lenny