First off, let me say I shudder to think what the title of this post is going to do to my keyword search terms. It made you look, though, didn't it? Maybe peeking between your fingers because the thought is gross and you're hoping that I'm not actually eating my boogers.
I mentioned recently that I caught a cold from my kids. The first couple days were brutal. My nose was raw from all that sniffling, sneezing, and nose blowing. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep.
Then an amazing thing happened: my nose stopped leaking.
Yes! I thought I'd gotten off easy, a weekend cold. How convenient, right?
Not so much, as it turns out. Actually what happened was that the mucus just changed its evacuation route. Instead of dripping down my face, it dripped down the back of my throat.
This isn't all bad. For one, there are no taste buds back there, so I don't actually taste any of the slime slipping down the esophagus. For another, it's kinda nice not to have to carry a box of tissues around everywhere you go. It's like having an invisible cold!
But, you know I wouldn't be writing if there weren't a downside.
The biggie, of course, is the knowledge that I have snot sliding down into my stomach. It's involuntary, but I'm essentially eating boogers. All day, every day. Ick.
The other problem is that as the mucus thickens - as it does toward the end of any cold - it requires more and more effort to swallow. It clings to the back of my throat. I can feel it there. An eternal (if disgusting) lump that is getting more and more difficult to dislodge. I have been drinking enough water to drown a fish, just to keep the process in motion.
I keep trying to blow my nose, but nothing happens. Sometimes when I inhale, I feel a little more oozing out of the sinuses into the throat. Sometimes, it covers the valve between trachea and esophagus and I panic that I won't be able to breathe. (That's happened before. Scared the bejeezus out of me, but that's another story for another day).
So yeah, I'm swallowing boogers -- there goes another one right now -- but I'm not happy about it. Not one little bit.
I just realized this is going to post on Valentines Day. Not exactly the lovey dovey sentiments you'd expect to find. Uh, sorry about that.