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Monday, February 7, 2011

How To Get Sick -- In Five Seconds or Less

My kids have all had killer colds lately. 

Or maybe it's the flu. 
I grew up thinking a cold = runny nose and the flu = throwing up.
Apparently, the flu can also be the achy, feverish, congested feeling I've associated with colds.  Who knew? 

Anyway, I got a little Gingerbread Man on them. 
You know, "I've run away from a little old woman, a little old man, and I can run away from you, too.  I can!"

I shouldn't have done it.  Fate loves nothing more than taking down those who mock her.  

And take me down she did.  She even made it look like it was my own damn fault.  She's crafty like that.

The other night I was picking up the living room. My daughter left a half a can of Diet Coke on the table.  

I LOVES me some Diet Coke.

I picked it up and took a swig without thinking.  I hadn't even swallowed when it hit me.

She'd been sick.  The can was contaminated.

I kid you not, I stood in the kitchen with a mouthful of Diet Coke. 
I looked like a hamster with carrots stashed in its cheeks.
Afraid to swallow, but knowing I'd already exposed myself. 

I finally did swallow...but only because there were dishes in the sink and my Momma would have a FIT if I spit on dishes (yes, even dirty ones).

The next morning, my throat was sore.  By mid-day I had a headache, chills, and tingling sinuses to add to my list of complaints.

Moral of the story:  Don't EVER mock Fate, my friends.  She'll get you.


Jennifer Hillier said...

Aw, sorry to hear you're sick, too! There's a lot of that going around, and truth be told, if you hadn't drank the Diet Coke, you probably would have gotten sick some other way since your kids all have colds.

Hope you feel better soon.

Mary Vaughn said...

I'm with Jennifer but your way is funnier! Get better soon.

Jules said...

Thank goodness my kids are furry and the only thing I can catch is fleas. :)

Get better and sending healing keystrokes your way.
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

aspiring_x said...

hee hee hee!
oh vicki! i'm sorry you're feeling so sick!
take it easy and get feeling better!

Kristi said...

How do you do it? You never CEASE to make me laugh...LOVE your stories.

Hope you feel better and I just HAVE to know: was that one sip of Diet Coke worth it?

Katie Mills said...

bwahahaha. I know, sometimes I feel invicible since everyone in the house is sick and I'm the only one who doesn't catch it. I think it's a mother's immunse system or something. Anyway, sometimes (but rarely) I'm not so lucky. It's a good thing it doesn't happen often. I am REALLY hard to deal with when I'm sick.

DL Hammons said...

LOL!! I'm the worst about sipping other peoples drinks, but luckily I have a stout immune system and I rarely catch what others are suffering from. It's a bitch when it happens though! :)

Janet Johnson said...

Oh man! I'm enjoying the great picture in my head, but full of sympathy at the same time. Last night, I spit out a piece of pastry from my infected daughter . . . exact same realization. Still crossing my fingers.

I hope you feel better soon!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Sucks to be sick! Sorry, Vicki.

Clarissa Draper said...

Children! Man, I hate getting sick. I hope you feel better soon. Lots of warmth, rest and alcohol does the trick for me.

Karen Walker said...

Poor baby. So sorry. I had a much milder version this weekend, but much better today. Hope you're up and about soon, Vicki.

Bish Denham said...

Thing is you probably already had the germs in you cause it takes awhile for symptons to show themselves. I doubt the coke did it. Hope you feel better SOON.

L.A. Colvin said...

I hope you feel better soon. I just got off the couch last night from being sick. In my house my children like to stagger the illnesses. As soon as one is better the other one gets it. Take care of yourself!!

Carolyn V said...

Oh no!!!! I've actually done that before. I hate the contamination. I hope you feel better soon Vicki!!!! (hugs)

Michelle McLean said...

oh man, so sorry you're sick! My family has been trading that nasty virus back and forth for weeks. We were all getting better and my son woke up coughing....again. Argh. I just figure it's inevitable that'll I'll get whatever my kids have. I keep hoping some sort of mommy immunity will kick in, but hasn't happened so far. Feel better!

Jolene Perry said...

Oh man, you're funny.
On a totally non-humorous and boring note. The germs from your mouth, nose and throat make you sick. Your stomach destroys any germs that dare travel that far.
On a gross note. My aunt never gets sick. When she comes home she washes her hands, rinses her mouth out with listerine, and... dips q-tips in listerine and wipes out her nose. Makes you cringe, right? BUT she runs two daycares and is NEVER sick. NEVER.
Hope you're better soon and get to drink lots and lots of non-contaminated Diet Coke.

Shannon said...

Truer words have never been spoken. She's crafty that way.

Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Hope you get better soon!

The Golden Eagle said...

I hope you feel better soon!

LTM said...

oh! argh argh argh!!!! We're all coughing and hacking over here, but so far no fever. I guess it's just some snotty bronchitis thing. Keeping me up ALL night. :p

take care, Miss V~ <3

Ann said...

Yes indeedy! Fate can be a bit of a Beeotch like that. Hope you are feeling better.

Michelle Teacress said...

Oh dear, now you need a good dose of bed rest to go along with the rest of that coke. I hope it doesn't last long. :)

Anonymous said...

I learned not to mock, gloat, or challenge a long time ago. Life is difficult enough as it is. Hope everyone gets well soon!!