One of my gifts this year was a pair of fleece pajamas. I tried not to get too excited because as I mentioned the other day, hubs is brilliant when it comes to managing household chores but is not-so-gifted when it comes to matching clothing with the appropriate-sized owner. Fortunately, when I tried them on, they fit! They were so warm and fuzzy, I was one happy camper.
Until the next morning, that is.
Let me back up for a minute.
Unless you live under a rock, you've heard the increased hysteria over bedbugs recently. Our family discussed them over Thanksgiving weekend. That night I had the Craig Niedermaier dream (the one that ended with me trying to smash bedbugs in the hallway). About a week later, my 9 year old had an unexplained (and itchy) rash on her neck, back, and stomach. I freaked out and researched bedbugs - how to find them, how to get rid of them. Things NOT to do, etc.
And, yes, I did inspect the beds looking for signs of bedbugs. Don't judge me. I was protecting my family.
Turns out it wasn't bedbugs (thank GOD), but to say I have a heightened sensitivity would be a massive understatement. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say my hatred of all things creepy and crawly borders on complete paranoia / hysteria.
For example, I shake / bang my shoes out before I put them on. EVERY time. The ONE time I didn't, there was a great big ol' black Japanese water beetle in there. And I was barefoot...didn't even have the protection of socks. Just thinking about it now makes me squirm uncomfortably.
So...I see bugs everywhere they're not. I see them in every smudge on the floor, every wayward scrap of paper. Any unidentified object, regardless of size, is assumed to be a critter until proven otherwise.
This assumption sometimes causes me a great deal of distress.
Back to me and my pajamas. Did you know new fleece sheds more than pretty much any household pet with fur? And those fuzz balls lie in wait under the covers for their opportunity to give me a heart attack.
Imagine, if you will, me preparing to make the bed, the dreaded thought of bedbugs never far off. I see a speck. Oh God, please NO!
I peel the sheet back gingerly--because if there are critters in there, I don't want them to skitter off before I've had the chance to brutally mash their little bodies with the shoe (not mine) I hold in my hand. I lean in for a closer look and discover...it's nothin but a bunch of lint. Whew.
I found fuzz balls in other places too, but you really don't want to hear about that. Trust me.