Join the Madness

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

My New Campaign

If you've been hanging around for any length of time, you may have noticed I have a twisted sense of humor...

...and not much of a life.

And that is a dangerous combination, my friends.

So I was hanging out at home the other night (ahem, no life, remember?) checking out my visitor stats. I had some great keyword searches.  


miss piffy
craig niedermaier
one eleven main galena ghost
steffi graf legs
true false answers
"cut my hair' short
my worst day ever
judy merrill larsen + wedding
jennifer jason leigh legs
does wearing deodorant stop the growth of armpit hai
+blog editing
jami gertz
craig nedermeier chicago
chopped OR chop hair
brad pitt hair
panty hose porn

I personally love "does wearing deodorant stop the growth of armpit hair".   And I've no idea where "panty hose porn" came from.

After I recovered from the giggles from that, I looked at the visitor map.  I read off some of the exotic locations my visitors came from to hubbers.  I don't know if he was listening or not.  But when I saw a hit from Chicago, I made sure to mention it. (He grew up in the greater Chicagoland area).

I clicked the little bubble for more information.

And do you know what I discovered?

Someone IN Chicago did a search for "Craig Niedermaier, Chicago" and hopped over to my page.  That doesn't mean it was Mr. Niedermaier himself, of course.  Chicago has a couple million bodies jammed into the confines of the city, so it could have been anyone. 

But... makes me laugh to think he may have visited.  

Sooooo I'm launching the Hello Craig Campaign. 

I'm going to work his name into all my blog posts to make sure my blog stays up in the search results...until he either says hello or gets a restraining order. 

Or until I get bored with it all. A distinct possibility.

The only rule I have is that I cannot contact him directly.  (Where's the fun in that?) He has to stumble across the blog himself.

If you are Craig Niedermaier from Chicago, I swear I'm not crazy--at least not in any dangerous way.  To stop me before this goes any further, drop me an email or leave a note in the comments.

The rest of you...thanks for stopping by. Really. You rock. And I get crazy happy every time you leave me a comment.  I hope you have a fantabulous day cuz you deserve it.  (((BIG HUG)))

PS I did a new search, I am now #4 on the Google search.  Mmuuuuahahahahaha



Jolene Perry said...

Craig Niedermaier? That's the name? Right?
Does that increase your chances of this post being discovered?
AWESOME freaking idea.

Al said...

"if you eschew quibbleism"

was one of the searches that led to my blog. I have no idea of how or why :-)

salarsenッ said...

So cool. I never think of checking that stuff. Great (and yes, humorous) post. Thanks!

Candyland said...

She's not crazy. She swears. Panty hose porn.

aspiring_x said...

oh man! i wish there was a way we could all help... maybe you should have a hello craig button with a link to your post and everyone could pass it around? i know nothing about how something stays to the front of a google search...

Justine Dell said...

Hahahahaha! Craig, I promise she isn't crazy. But the Panty hose porn thing counts accounts her. lol


Mary Vaughn said...

Vicki, You are more crazy than yours truly and that IS GOING SOME!

Clarissa Draper said...

Those are some really funny searches. It made me howl laughing. I glad you had fun with it too. I'm going join your blogfest.

Angela Felsted said...

Wow, #4, that's awesome!

Dawn said...

OMG, you are hilarious.

Creepy Query Girl said...

I can't wait to see how you drop his name into every post! LOL

Stephen Tremp said...

Those key words stats are hilarious. Thanks for the morning laugh. And another blogfest the first day of 2011? I'm in.

Meghan Schuessler said...

You certainly come up with some clever ideas! =P

Shannon said...

lol, Vicki, you crack me up!

Hopefully, Craig Niedermaier does search for himself, Craig Niedermaier, and finds that you have been posting about Craig Niedermaier. Or may a friend of Craig Niedermaier's will do a search for "Craig Niedermaier" and find this. =)

Lenny Lee* said...

hi miss vicki! yikes! i been found out. ack! im the real craig neederminer. ha ha. that list is soooo funny. for sure i dont know whats panty hose porn. it sounds fun doing that name and maybe he could all of a sudden get right her on your blog.
...hugs from lenny

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

No Craig, she isn't crazy. Promise. lol.

Here's to getting you to number one on the google search!

Ed Pilolla said...

when i hear craig niedermaier i am forced to think of animal house. i grew up in river forest, a couple miles west of chicago. where did hubbers grow up?

Amy Allgeyer Cook said...

Well now I have to keep checking back to see if Craig ever turns up! :)
I have strange keywords on my search too. The one that worries me the most is "cute butts in sweatpants". Seriously?

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Okay, now that's just plain awesome. Hello, Craig!!


I get the funniest search terms as well. One was once for part of my name, and then "sex tape." Thankfully, it doesn't seem anyone was looking for a sex tape for me in particular (or presumably they would've had my full name). I don't have one, but at least no one thinks I do. I think.

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

Ummm...What is panty hose ****? (You know I can't talk about that kind of stuff.)

I'm hoping Craig Nedermier will soon appear...