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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Random Thoughts - A Frightening Peek Inside My Head

You're in for an experience today!  In lieu of a *real* post (still enslaved with Shiver don't ya know), I thought I'd just give you all a peek at some of the things that go streaking through my mind over the course of the day.  

Oh yeah, you might wanna put the drink down, now.  Just in case.

I was thinking about THIS post the other day...the first of the crackpot confessions.  And while I was contemplating those nostril nuggets, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if boogers were pretty.  If instead of green cratered balls (or long slimy strings) they sparkled like like diamonds, would picking our nose still be a bad thing?

  • Would they establish booger farms where people would go to harvest & sell their nasal treasures?  
  • Would dust and debris be pumped into the air for optimal booger creating conditions?
  • Would humidity levels be monitored more closely?
  • Since dried snot = boogers-in-waiting, would getting a cold be a good thing?   
  • Would you save tissues and find a way to scrape off the sparkles later?
  • Would you have a booger jar to save the sparkly nuggets until you could sell them?
  • Would you be able to buy jewelry made out of boogers?
  • Would laws get developed to control the size of boogers allowed to be removed?  
  • Would ratios be established based on the size of one's nostrils?
  • You know the saying, you can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friend's nose?  Would that actually burglary (or,hahaha boogerlary?)

I tried to share some of those ideas with my daughter...she was not amused.  But my mind wasn't done wandering.  

Oh no.  Not by a long shot.  

I then wondered what would happen if farts smelled good?

  • Would passing gas still be a major faux pas?  
  • Would people serve beans and other gas-inducing foods more often?
  • Would people run around like dogs sniffing one another's booties?

  • And what if they were musical?  
  • Would there be classes to teach us to master the art?
  • Would we record CD's and sit back and say, things like:
  • "that guy has a really talented arse" or 
  • "wow, listen to him blow"

As a completely unrelated aside, I was wearing an orange(ish) sweater today with black pants and my sweater was shedding little orange fuzzballs all over my pants so it LOOKED like I rubbed major Cheetos fingers all over myself. Hahahaha.

How are you holding up?  I hope the field trip through the recesses of my mind didn't do any permanent damage.  Got any bullet points to add?  What kind of things do YOU wonder about?


Nicole MacDonald said...

...Vicki.. have you had a tad too much coffee? No pressure, just wondering ;p

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

Haha. I loved the fieldtrip through your mind. It's as busy as mine, but even better. :)

Lola Sharp said...

He he! Sparkly, pretty boogers. :)

I have allergies in the spring and fall and I always said if only there was a good use for snot, I'd be rich. ;) A girl can dream.

Also, I LOVED Shiver. LOVE. Maggie's lyrical writing is lovely.

Happy Humpday, Vicki!

Mason Canyon said...

Thanks for the heads up about the drinking cup. So glad I put it down. Thanks for the laugh this morning. You don't know how much I needed it.

Thoughts in Progress

Bish Denham said...

ROLF! I can see these lists in a MG with a male protag! Too funny!

aspiring_x said...

oh my goodness! you are too amazing! :)
i don't think the boogers would be worth much money unless there was something rare about them... saturation of the market and all...

Janet Johnson said...

Wow, that is a trip . . . sounds like a good picture book to me. ;)

RaShelle said...

Vicki - I find you too amazing! Diamond booger farms and farting CD's. In orchastra class, "Okay student's, you're in for a real treat. We will now be listening to the great musical sounds of Farting Symphony #9 in E Major." LOL

ps: I passed on the writing game to you. =D

Jolene Perry said...

I lived in Utah for a while and I have always wanted to see a cow, standing at one of those cow grates they put on the overpasses? You know? And wanting to cross and not being able to, even though they actually probably could.
I think about it every time I drive over one of those stupid things.

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

Do you know what we say about people like you in the South?

"Bless her heart, she's special." (Said with much love and amusement, Vicki...I just didn't know how to comment on today's post.)

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Hahahaha! Okay, that was probably the most random, coolest post ever. Sparkly boogers, indeed. I love your brain, Vicki.It feels like my brain's soul sister.

Anonymous said...

What's next? A blog about farting? He now, I would be up for that!

Stephen Tremp

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

You are one sick individual.

I admire that!

Carolyn V. said...

I loved the fieldtrip! LOL!

Kimberly Franklin said...

LOL. Oh my.... you make me laugh every time!

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I'm so glad you gave that warning first. My hand was moving over to my can of Diet Dr Pepper while I was reading it. Phew! Crisis averted. :D

Hannah Kincade said...

LMAO!! I'm so glad I read this. For once I don't feel alone in my random thoughts. One day I'll put a few more embarrassing ones up. ;) Love this. Love this. Love this.

Theresa Milstein said...

What if the vampires in Twilight had boogers instead of sparkles? Would they still be as sexy? (For the record, not sexy to me either way.)

The 2nd set of questions - I'm not even going there!

Shannon said...

Oh man, you crack me up. I've missed you so much. This post was epic.

(And for the record, my dad used to try and make his farts musical. Not pretty.)

Hugs and stuff (and I'm good - thanks for asking on my blog!)