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Monday, September 27, 2010

Mock Me Monday - Old Letters


I am already cringing over here.  I haven't typed a word yet, and I'm already uncomfortable.  This probably means you are about to really enjoy yourselves at my expense. 

I destroyed any diaries I kept years ago, but I do have a copy of a few letters I sent to my sister twenty years ago. I'm not 100% sure what we're going to get.  So, why don't you play it safe and set that beverage or snack down (it's really for your own good) and let's jump in and see what happens:

FYI:  I was 18, living in Vegas and a senior in high school. If I need to explain anything else I'll add a note in RED.

January 11, 1989 

To Ya'll:

It is I, Count Vicula (I thought it was funny), writing to you from Las Vegas.  I'm sitting in first hour.  (isn't THAT amazing?)

LATER:
(Apparently I was forced to DO something in class...like pay attention.  I wonder why I even bothered with those two lines?)
I'm at home now.  The red pen died today.  Oh, don't worry - it was quite painless. Oh guess what I have done?  I have won a month's supply (four cases) of Pepsi (again).  This is the third time I've won it...that makes a grand total of 288 cans.  Plus, the time I got 3 cases for $5...That brings us to a total of 360 cans.  Plus I've won (these are albums--like vinyl--in case you're wondering):  Grinning Plowmen, a Back-to-School Cassampler, Go Betweens, Chicago 19... (Anita Baker too, but I never got the call to go pick it up). Geez, am I good or what?  I'm tuned to 91 (the college station) -- MY station -- now in hopes of winning another album.

Nothing much is up right now I have a job if I can get down and get my health card.  Now don't laugh at me, okay?  I really tried to stay away from fast food.  But anyway - no one wants to hire you without experience...so I'm goin to be a happy McDonald's person for awhile until I can gather enough "experience" that someone else will take me.  But shhhh!  No one else knows but Daddy.  

(Oh God, I really ought to censor this next part, I'm BLUSHING and I haven't even typed it yet.  You guys SO OWE me for this level of honesty...)
Other than that, my life is pretty dull.  it's been 454 hours since I've been kissed (there! I said it) (Don't know why I keep track).  That dates back to Christmas Eve.  But please don't ask questions cuz that was a disaster!  Nobody in the house knows about it cuz Mom is just getting out of a very suspicious phase and if I'd told her about it she wouldn't have let me out of the house for 3 years. (Yes, I used to keep track of the hours between kisses and sometimes the number was REALLY high.  I HONESTLY don't remember who this was...unless it was the guy I mention next...keep reading.)

My poor social life has been pretty much PITTSVILLE since I broke up with my turd (oops, excuse me...Michael) I'm not a hermit but my life could use a boost.  There has been a Jeff...a Doug...an Andy...and another Jeff whom we will NOT discuss.  He's turd #2 now.
(I vaguely remember Michael...real name George and I'm wondering if the disaster is what I think it is...a post for another day.  I don't remember Jeff or Doug...unless Doug was my friend's cousin.  I DO remember Andy...a totally hot cowboy originally from Nebraska...pity that didn't go anywhere.  The second Jeff was the circus man from THIS story which was concluded HERE definitely earned the turd title)

(DELETED SECTION, just 'how are you kinda stuff...ie boring)

(REDACTED section after that...sorry, don't want to start a family feud.  Some was a little catty, even if it was true.  Wasn't funny anyhow, especially since you don't know any of the family members I was dishing on)

Love,
Vicki
(aka Count Vicula)  

PS
I talked to a DJ last night for an hour!  I tried to let him go, but he wanted to chat.  So we did.  He's got a great voice!  He told me to call him again s-time so we could talk more. DJ-itis is comin' back!
(Not sure which one this was.  I talked to all of them at one point or another. I think it might have been this cool guy from the college station.  Scott Free...not his real name, but even that is another story!) 

29 comments:

Nicole MacDonald said...

hehehehehe.. Count Vicula.. yeah I'm gonna refer to you as that from now on *mwahahahaha*

and did you drink all that pepsi? Please tell me you didn't!!

http://damselinadirtydress.blogspot.com

salarsenッ said...

Hah! Was that around the time when the Pepsi caps had prizes under them??? Can you say caffeine high...

Here's to us who were the last of the '80s!!

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

Lol. Count Vicula.

Wow that was a lot of Pepsi...and it's between us about the hours between kissing. lol.

Bish Denham said...

LOL! Obviously you were speeding on all that Pepsi! There were so few boys in my teen life I believe I could count them all on one hand.

Creepy Query Girl said...

LOL- sounds like your highschool me and my highschool me woulda been great friends!

Laura Maylene said...

OH MY GOD!! You had DJ crushes too! There was this one overnight DJ I used to call in the middle of the night and chat for hours until he got sick of me and starting putting me on "hold" until I hung up. I wrote about this at length in my diaries (but they didn't make the cut for the Rejectionist uncontest). I was 13 but told him I was 14...because I thought that would make me sound grown up.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

You were a Pepsi-winning fool!

maine character said...

I love this:

Nobody in the hose knows about it cuz Mom is just getting out of a very suspicious phase.

That's got to be in a book.

Carole Anne Carr said...

What a wonderful resource you have there!

aspiring_x said...

everyone had codenames in my high school notes... and i saved ALL of them from jr. high (so hilarious!) but then we had a housefire, and they were destroyed. it's kinda sad that i miss them so much huh?

Stephen Tremp said...

That is such a girl thing. Keeping track of the hours since last kissed LOL! Guys would never do that.

"Hey Joe, I haven't been kissed in four days, three hours, and two minutes. How's it hanging with you?"

"Oh, you know how it is, Fred. I haven't been kissed in twelve years, two months, three days, and four hours. Sigh."

Stephen Tremp

Jolene Perry said...

I looked through a pile of old notes I'd passed in class and immediately put them away. Too embarrassing even when I'm alone :)

Sarah W said...

Brava!

It's reassuring to know I didn't brave the '80s by myself! Or count the hours . . . ahem.

J. A. Platt said...

You've left me curious about how you won all the Pepsi and how your mom got INTO the suspicious phase.

Sandy Shin said...

Oh wow, all the Pepsi you won!

(This read a lot like my own middle school/high school diary entries, as I don't send letters much.)

Alexandra Crocodile said...

HAHAHA! Fantastic stuff! My diaries from my childhood are just as embarrassing, but kudos to you for sharing!

Theresa Milstein said...

You're brave to do this. Hours of kissing? My number would've been too long in HS, so it would've depressed me further.

I like all the stuff you won. And how was McDonalds?

The Rejectionist said...

"Don't know why I keep track" HA HA HA HA HA

Steph Sinkhorn said...

Don't feel bad... I didn't keep track of the hours, but I *definitely* kept track of the days and months between kisses. And would get really stressed out if it had been a while :D

Tamara Narayan said...

Wow, this takes me back. I didn't count the hours between them, but it sure took enough years before the first!

Shannon said...

You are a brave, brave woman. Thanks for sharing this - I enjoyed it! =)

Joann Swanson said...

SO AWESOME - just the right mix of bored and witty. Love!

Jaydee Morgan said...

You're such a brave girl - but entertaining to us. How fun that you've kept all this :)

Bethany Elizabeth said...

Ah, memory lane! What would we be without it?

erica and christy said...

Ahh, there was nothing like drinking pepsi and listening to records in 1989...Nice find for the uncontest!

Carolyn V. said...

You ARE brave! I don't know if I even want to read what I was writing to my fam/friends when I was in college. LOL.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Oh, wow, you were a busy young lady.

I only wrote in one journal . . . and burnt it with good reason. :)

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

Man...I wish I had my diaries! I really wish I knew what happened to them??? I hope I burned them or ripped them up...I hope they aren't floating around...

Another fun post! You sure take me back to my teenage years. :) Thanks for the time travel...

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Goodness gracious, you sure had a lot of boys!! Look at you, Miss Thing. I can't believe you let 454 hours pass between kisses with so many hotties on the side!

But how cute are you, Count Vicula? Ha! Awesome!