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Friday, September 10, 2010

Crackpot Confession - Gone Buggy (NO pics)

I had some really cool ideas for posting today, but you're gonna have to wait.  I'm just not up to doing those Golden Ideas justice today, and I'll tell ya why.


Yes, those little creepy crawlies have infiltrated my house and I spent the better part of my evening eradicating them.

So I'm sitting here on the couch and I feel like they're creeping all over me.  I keep scratching, but the itches keep returning.  ARGH.

You know those itty bitty bugs that sometimes turn up in your flour?  I found some on the counter tonight. Not sure where they came from because I have been freezing my flour, pancake mix, etc. to kill any eggs that might be hiding inside.  

I try not to think about that.  The eggs.  The larva.  I know they're in there and there's not anything any of us can do about it, but I can pretend they're not.  Just like I can pretend eggs aren't aborted baby chickens.  (Yeah, I said it.  Can you deny it?) 

I try to reassure myself by remembering that there are demented souls in this world that actually eat bugs willingly.  Some would call them a delicacy.  I think they're completely off their rockers, but  as long as they don't try to give me any chocolate-covered critters, I can keep my trap shut.

ANYWAY, so my flour-y stuff is in the freezer, my cereals are in plastic containers with lids, so I'm not sure where these suckers were coming from, but I emptied all my cabinets, washed them out, threw away a GARBAGE bag full of old spices and crap that's been in the cupboard for a year or more...and I'm hoping that will be the end of it.

Except, it's not. You know for the next week or so I'll be opening every container and shaking it around to see if there is anything moving inside.

You know that scene in Indiana Jones where the woman has to reach her hand into the hole in the wall to pull the lever to save Mr. Jones from some crushing death?  

(I can't find a picture if it...but that's probably just as well).  

Indiana would've been pancaked if he were depending on me to reach my hand in there.  No way, no how.  Not even with rubber gloves that ran up to my armpit.  Sorry, Indie, it was nice while it lasted.  So much for the sequels. hahahaha

Okay, so let's see if I can somehow magically turn my bug episode into a writing analogy.  Gimme a minute, I've got a few things percolating over here.  

#1-Should we try for the obvious? Debugging = Revising?  You comb through your manuscript getting rid of all the extra words, leaving a cleaner, sleeker document in the end. That could work.  

#2-Or I could say that my fear of these tiny little critters is irrational since I'm 1,000 times bigger and there's nothing they can really DO to me...and so we should not be afraid of querying or the rejections that follow because they can only hurt us if we fear them and hand over our power.  That one needs some work. LOL.

If you haven't already done so, hop over to THIS POST to give me some big city could win $20 for books!  And who doesn't love books?  I'll take your serious advice...or go ahead and embrace the ridiculous!  Should I wander the streets in socks and sandals with a camera hanging around my neck?  Maybe I could carry a map of NYC in one of my hands for good measure?  Each piece of advice = one entry so enter as often as you like!


Al said...

bug invasions are such a nuisance.
They don't scare me but boy they steam me up.

Kristi said...

I'm totally with you on the bugs! And I understand the creepy crawly's those tiny ones that are the most scary...they could be anywhere!

::looking around in a panic::

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I would have let Indie become a pancake, too. It's not like he was looking for a long term commitment anyway. So why deal with the gross bugs? Sorry, Indie. ;)

Love your writing analogies, Vicki. I'm for #1. Working on #2. Not easy though. But at least rejections are easier to deal with than getting rid of the bugs. Rejections you can instantly delete. No freezing required.

Clarissa Draper said...

Ugh, you've got me scratching. I hate having to seal everything to so tightly just to keep the bugs out.


Bish Denham said...

Oh yeah, I know those little bugs. They come in your rice too. And dried beans. And sometimes in boxes of instant mashed potatoes. They don't bother me...not after living with big old cockroaches all my life.

Dawn said...

I hate bugs.
I also hate mice.
Right now, I have more mice than bugs. Not because I'm not clean, but rather, my stepdaughter's pet mouse had babies. Twice. She had grand visions of young buyers flocking to her for one of the "cute" (gag) babies - but it seems not all parents are as open (stupid) as my husband and I.
And I've learned that young mice have small heads, and incredible flexibility. So they can squish out of their cage and find comfort in the various walls / vents / furniture of my house.
I don't flinch when I pour out flour (though I might now that you've heightened my awareness of eggs) but I absolutely freeze before I lift a pile of laundry or pull the covers off my bed.
Hate them.

Justine Dell said...

I think you need bug counseling. ;-)


Carol Kilgore said...

Eewwww...hate bugs.

Carolyn V. said...

Yuck! I hate those little things. I hope you get rid of them. Ew, ew, ew.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That was indeed a great scene in The Temple of Doom.
And if eating bugs grosses you out, I'd recommend skipping the show Bizarre Foods.

Meredith said...

Oh, ew, I hate bugs! I had to deal with bedbugs a few months ago, and it was like going to war. And I had totally forgotten about that Indiana Jones scene. Never watching that movie again! Good luck getting rid of the critters!

Talli Roland said...

Gross. I am not a bug fan. But as long as they don't bother me, I won't bother them.

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

Hmm, bugs don't bother me too much, but the eggs hidden...that's gross. *shudders*