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Thursday, September 9, 2010

Attention Party Animals...


Okay, so I temporarily shelved Behind Closed Eyes (akaTempted) and am focusing on Porcelain Gods for the time being at least.  Only I have a teensy weensy problem.

I'm woefully inexperienced in the got so-drunk-I-heaved category. I don't drink much as a general rule. Partly because my father was an alcoholic and I don't want to go down that road.  Partly because after a drink (maybe two) I'm sooo tired I'm snoozing before I can get completely smashed.  And finally, hubs works nights, so I need to be home to watch the kidlings, which prevents me from going out much.

So I'm hoping that YOU are all a bit livelier than me.  I wanna hear your crazy drunk stories (you can attribute everything to a friend if you want to keep your reputation untarnished).  What's your favorite drink?  Any drunk dials?  Any things you (ahem, your friend) said or did that they just can't live down?

Tell me all about it!  If it's REALLY bad and you'd rather the words don't live forevermore on the internet, email the stories to me at missvspeaks(at)gmail(dot)com.  

Your secrets are safe with me!  Just need a few real-life experiences to add color to my writing palette.  SO much better for me to do research this way than to drink myself into a stupor to see what happens.

18 comments:

Jessica Carmen Bell said...

Oooh! I have a funny story for you :o) When I was about 18, my boyfriend and I took a trip down to a beach and stayed in a friend's holiday house. It was a small town. Stinking hot. Everyone left their doors open in the middle of the night. I mean, how many residents were there? probably about 200 at the most. anyway. My boyfriend and I got plastered on the beach. I can't even remember getting home. But when I woke up he wasn't there. I waited a couple of hours, when I started to get worried, but then he stumbled in. "You'll never fuckin believe what happened."
"What?"
I woke up on some lady's couch. Her little girl was playing with lego on the carpet in front of me."
"You're kidding? You walked into a stranger's house and slep t on their couch?"
"Yep. But that's not the weird thing. The mother even made me bacon and eggs for breakfast."

:o))

SiNn said...

i only have one story lol


It was my 21st birthday

I went out with my sister my friend and my parents yes i did celebrate taht right of passage with them that and i needed a designated driver

so i was drinking and lemme just tell you i got 4 free drinks cause was my birthday but i also spent like 80 dolalrs on dollar drinks and my sister and friend only drank 10 together so im beyond drunk so drunk in fact thebouncerhad to help me down the steps( side note dont chose a seocnd floor seat in aclub if u get drunk) so hes helping me down the steps and out side which btw is now snowing is when ithit me how drunk i really was.

I had been calling my boyfiend at the time all night no answer so i was leaving him messages except the message sinforme dhim i was in love with someone else never agood idea to drunk dial the last message i left him was over anhour long message which wa smostly me trying to figure out how toturn off the cell phone wich btw was a flip phone they let me out ofteh car at the gasstation to pee badddd idea i tryed taken the clerk home with me and two guys who was just being helpful and shutting teh car door cause i forgot how. Now on the way home i was so drunk i saw a flying probably abat but in the haze it was huge and i was afraid and yelle dlook a dragon didnt end there ladies i get home and my boyfriends on the phone with my aunt and i had to pee again this time i hadhelp only i pulle d my friend in to my lap awkward much s the bathroom incident i decide wa stime to sit down in a chair all well and good till i apperently lost my head dun ak me cause im still not sure my boyfriend at the tiem was on the phone i decide to call my now fiance and tell him i loved him instead which made it even more funny because drunk dialing u never get who u wanna get which means uguessed it people i got his brother and friend instead so i pass out for what seemed like hours but really wasnt it was actually just afew minutes just to ramble about different odd things now ud think that id be done right soooo wrong i wasnt done i passed out in my water bed and woke up still intoxicated the next day at liek 2 pm didnt get passed out till about 6 am my boyfriend calls and plays back the voice mails asking me who so and so was which btw i didnt know lol

The bartender and the dj did how ever call and ask if id like to come back lol and were shocked i held that much liquor with out needing an ambulance honestly so was everyone else

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Hahaha! Oh my word, if I told you I'd have to kill you. :P

If I drink too much, I often won't have any memory until someone reminds me, and then it's fairly hazy. Not a good feeling!

SiNn said...

im with you on that worse when people have actual evidence lol nothing says busted like anhour voicemail

Candyland said...

Well we all remember my toilet glasses...and toilet phone...too many drinks makes Candyland a toilet queen.

aspiring_x said...

umm... i had a sip of a wine cooler once... not much story there i guess...

sorry! i wish i could help- well, actually after reading the other ones, i'm glad i don't have any to share!!

Bish Denham said...

I could email you a story, but I'm not sure ahem...I want to "expose" myself here....

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I know one guy who slept-walked out of the apartment he was staying at, walked down the hall way, and knocked on someone's door. Let's just say the NHL player wasn't too impressed to find the naked 20-something knocking on his girlfriend's door. Fortunately the hockey player decided not to throw any punches.

Me? I managed to cause a fight between my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend because he said something that I took the wrong way and I was crying in the nightclub bathroom (where he worked as a bouncer). The sympathetic girlfriend asked me what was wrong, but then I realized SHE had taken what I said the wrong way, and I ended up defending my ex. She got mad at him for what he said to me, and left the bar. They made up, but geez did the girl ever hurl daggers everytime she looked at me after that.

They only last two or three weeks. The guy and I remained friends.

Oh, and then there was the time I was "happy" after having a few drinks, and bounced down the stairs after the quarterback of the university football team talked to me (not that I wanted to date him). I whacked my head on the low ceiling. I ended up with a concussion, and my physician questioning me about my normal alchohol intake because I didn't remember how many drinks I'd had that night. Very embarrassing. I stopped partying after that.

LTM said...

I have no idea what any of you are talking about.

...

BAH!!! :D

shesh. The thing about these drunk stories is they take up too much space! I'll try to block off some time to type one up for you. I will say this about the heaving part--you ain't missin much. ;p

Mason Canyon said...

No stories to share but I will say if you haven't already, watched BILL COSBY HIMSELF. He does a segment on the porcelain god that is great. I laughed so much I cried.

Mason
Thoughts in Progress

Jen said...

You clearly opened a can of worms on this one Vicki! I'm revisiting a few times today to check out all the fun stories that have made there way up on your blog!!

I don't have many that I remember but there are a few experiences that are unforgettable. There were 8 of us (husband is included in this story) we were all drunk, but considered Trevor the best driver while drunk (wrong, we know) so he drove us out to a friends house to pick her up, only to realize she didn't want to go. While I was coaxing her to join in our fun all the guys were outside in the dumpster pulling out old matresses so they could have a matress surfing party in the parking lot. Disgusting, unsanitary and yet really F****** funny.

Dawn said...

To this day, I am still ashamed of my Grade 9 Grad experience, but for the sake of helping you out, here goes.

Grade 9 grad. Bottle of Mailbu Rum. After party at a friend's house. I was "supposed" to split the bottle with two other friends, but one was sick and couldn't come, the other decided to switch to Vodka. I remember up until half the bottle - and I recall a couple of my guy "friends" helping me swallow the rest.

I woke up in the hospital and immediately spewed black charcoal all over my angry (very angry) mother and the doctor, who patiently explains (covered in my vomit) that I had been found passed out in the middle of the highway by a group of biker girls who thought it best to call an ambulance. If not for their help, I would have died by alcohol poisoning - or been run over.

To this day, the smell of Malibu Rum (or coconut suntan lotion) makes my stomach roll. I had to babysit the next day - 4-year-old twins. My head was pounding and I spent most of the day nursing water and cream of mushroom soup, which someone told me helped.

I rarely drink now - save for a few beer on a hot day, a coffee with Baileys, or the occasional whiskey and Diet Coke...but I will never again drink to excess. That was many years ago but the memory is very fresh.

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

I wish I had a drunken story to tell you, but I don't like the taste of alcohol. Although my family/friends do find it hilarious to get me to try stuff and then watch me pull a face.
Last time it was Jack Daniels. Oh well, at least I make them laugh. lol

Lenny Lee! said...

hi miss vicki! i dont have a drunk story for me except one time i drank some of that champain stuff from a lotta peoples glasses at a wedding and got laughing til i just couldnt stop. it got everyone laughing at me. ha ha.
...hugs from lenny

SiNn said...

Lol all i can say really is they have evidence or i wouldnt remember as much as i did

Carolyn V. said...

I'm sorry Vicki. I don't drink either, for tons of reasons. But I have some pretty funny stories w/o being drunk. What...those are what they call embarrassing stories. Nevermind. =)

Jolene Perry said...

When I was in high school and my parents knew everything, only I thought they knew nothing and I was stealthy like a ninja? They would make pancakes for breakfast, every morning after I went out drinking. Now - when you're 16 you drink to get smashed. My boyfriend could really go to it and I wasn't about to be beat by some boy. I sometimes wonder how many gallons of Jim Beam I consumed in those years.
Anyways, you can imagine that a large plate of pancakes at 9 am (they had a strict up at 9 rule) were not the greatest thing after chugging Jim Beam for half the night.

OH! I think I forgot to mention that my father's way of waking up the household at 9 am was to play The Good, The Bad and the Ugly soundtrack at full speaker capability.
Let me just say that I was grateful every weekend that we lived in a two story house and those speakers weren't just outside of my doorway.

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

I've been married FOREVER...I don't have many good stories. Especially ones I remember...