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Monday, August 30, 2010

Mock Me Monday - Blind Date

I've told you about my misfortune dating Circus Men, and I hope you have heeded my advice and avoided dating them.  Today, I need to add another caution to the list.

Thou shalt not date prank phone callers.

Just typing that out has me hanging my head in shame.

I did, friends.  I totally did.  But not for long.  He turned out to be a total creep (go figure).

If you are curious how this happened, read on.  

Once upon a time while I was still technically a teenager, I was home watching TV with my mom and the phone rang.  This was kinda unusual since it was about 10 p.m., but not totally unheard of.  

I answered it and some guy asked me something stupid.  It wasn't "is your refrigerator running?" but similar.  Some dorky old phone prank. 

Normally, I would have hung up.  999,999,999 times out of 1,000,000,000 I would have hung up.

But not this time.  

There were two guys on the phone - Jeff and John. I have a brother Jeff whose best friend, coincidentally, was named John.  I assumed they were drunk and trying to be funny.  He was in the Air Force after all...wasn't the military known for it's hard-core partying on off hours?

But, wasn't my brother.
However, by the time I figured that out, I was laughing so hard, I couldn't hang up.  John was really funny.  That is probably the only reason I didn't hang up on him. 

At some point, Jeff hung up -- probably got tired of listening to us laugh over stupid stuff.  I talked to John all night.  Literally.  I think it was 6 a.m. when we hung up.  I've never been much of a phone person so this was a MAJOR deal.

We talked on the phone several times after that.  The follow-up calls weren't as long or as hilarious, but there were no red flags that I noticed so we met on September 6th, 1990.  

(I don't actually remember the date. I just Googled it because it was the night of the MTV Music Awards.)

The only thing I remember about the awards?  

Vanilla Ice performed Ice Ice Baby.  John liked him, I couldn't stand him.  To this day I cannot hear that song  without thinking of John and feeling nauseous.

The title of this post is a misnomer.  We never went out on a 'real' date.  We walked to the store together once or twice.  Not long after, he got WEIRD on me.  He'd call out of the blue and insult me until I'd had enough and would hung up on him.  In retrospect, I'm lucky.  He was showing signs of being abusive at the end.  Thank God I didn't get caught in that trap.

So the moral of the story, ladies and gents, is the next time you get a prank phone call (does anyone even DO that anymore?), just hang up.  Do NOT engage in playful banter no matter how clever or funny it might be.  It will only lead to trouble.


So, now it's your turn.  Did you meet anyone in an unusual way?  Any disastrous dates you want to share?


Anonymous said...

OMG! very very similar experience! I was about 16 and i can't remember if I called him or he called me... actually it may have started as texting but either way chat chat chatting away eventually i met him, nice bloke. ish. we actually dated a bit, he may have even been my bf for a while as i believe i even asked him to my high school formal (major blushing shame right now) but the guy wanted to go in a frickin clown costume! seriously WTF!!?? wow i had totally forgotten about that until now! blech!

ahhh memories

Nicole MacDonald said...

eeee freaky creep! Why is it we sorts always attract nutters? My friends love teasing me about that (Glenn is fully sane and normal *grin* my ex's though....)

Lenny said...

hi miss vicki! wow im glad you didnt get tangled up with that creepy guy for sure. i didnt ever get a call like that. we got that caller id thing on our phone. now i could see how it a good idea to have it.
...smiles from lenny

aspiring_x said...

never dated a prank phone caller before... but i'll 'fess up to BEING a prank phone caller (from the ages of like 8-10, then i grew out of it) my brother and i used to prank together... i wonder if he ever dated anyone from it...

Alexandra Crocodile said...

None so far, but I did a lot of prank calling myself when I was younger. I remember calling a tailor in England and asking for a dress for my husband and laughing, because the word dress in Norwegian means suit! I know - it's not funny at all, but when you're 8? Hilarious!

Talli Roland said...

Oh my... you have certainly led a very interesting past dating life! :)

Jen said...

LOLOL I love learning more about you!!! So strange of a way to meet someone, it would have given me the heebie jeebies from day one... that being said I've had my fair share of weirdos and unusual meets.

#1 In Middle school a kid chased me around the school a dozen times until my next door neighbor stopped him, he wanted to ask me out (freakin weirdo shouldn't scare woman off first!) needless to say we never dated, he was way to creepy.

#2 One of my next door neighbors stood on the roof of his shed yelling at the top of his lungs, asking me out. This time I said yes, but was immediately turned off when I realized he was a perv.

Thank God the man I married is leaps and bounds ahead of these idiots.

Jaydee Morgan said...

And here I thought I lived a pretty interesting life until I read some of your stories ;)

Bish Denham said...

Ewww...Thank goodness you got out of it. I did have one terrifying experience with this guy I knew from work who offered to take me home. I worked evenings. I had a ten-speed bike I used for transportatione and we put it in the trunk of his car. He took me out into the middle of nowhere, speeding at 100 MPH. I thought he was going to do unspeakable things to me and murder me and leave my body out in the woods. I was screaming at him to stop. At an intersection where he HAD to stop, I jumped out of the car, wrestled my bike from the trunk of his car and started peddling home. He followed me slowly in his car,telling me he was sorry for scaring me, telling me he'd take me home. It was like midnight...but I peddled all the way back to my apartment, a good 5 or 6 miles. Do you know the jerk asked me for a date the next evening at work?

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Wow. I went out on three dates with guys I met through the personals. It was more out of curiousity then anything else. And yep, only losers post personal ads, at least that's my experience.

One guy wasn't too bad, but I just wasn't into him that way. Plus he got angry one day when he phoned me and I was distracted doing my homework (I was in grad school at the time). I hung up on him and he never called back. Whew!

Kimberly Franklin said...

Such a great story. Aside from the weirdo boy, of course. When I was a teen, I once met a boy who called the wrong number.

Carolyn V. said...

Wow you talked until 6 am? Impressive, but scary too. =) My friend once set me up with a guy who I thought was someone else. He turned out to be a really nice guy and ending up moving into the same neighborhood as my husband and I (he was married then too). =)

Disgruntled Bear said...

I don't think people do many crank phone calls anymore--too many folks have caller ID these days. However, I've met people and become friends just by striking up conversations in the line for coffee at Borders.

And I once talked to a stranger in the airport in Izmir, Turkey for an hour--I ended up marrying that one!

BTW, since I don't have stories about meeting weirdos this way, does that mean *gulp* that _I'm_ the weirdo?


Terry Stonecrop said...

Glad you got out of this one! A cautionary tale, for sure.

Slushpile Slut said...

Never ever dated a prank caller but I did have this one guy call me accidentally at 3am, told him he had the wrong # and he called right back asking if I wanted to talk? What a goober!! And prank calls are still something teens do...My daughter once called McDonalds and asked to reserve a table for 2 in non-smoking...LOL!

Anonymous said...

That's... very interesting. :B

Damyanti said...

All I can say is you had a very lucky escape....:) This gives me the idea for a story!

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

LOL, one time I stood up a wrong number. When I was in college I got a wrong number from this guy...and of course I flirted with him. He called back several times which resulted in more flirting and a date. I showed up with a friend (for safety, cause I'm a safety girl), we pulled up in the parking lot, sat for a few minutes and then....left.

Meredith said...

Oh my goodness, so scary! Congrats on getting out of that one :) I'm way too awkward on the phone to ever get a date from a prank call!

Hannah Kincade said...

I once went out with a guy I met in a chat room and then he mentioned that he was a paranoid schizophrenic and then accused me of stealing. Not exactly in that order. Never. Again.

And that's just a guy I didn't know very long. I could tell you some stories!