Join the Madness

Monday, July 12, 2010

Mock Me Monday - The Crush

Answers to the Matchy Match contest are posted HERE
Turned out to be harder than I thought it would be, but thanks to the few brave souls who took a shot at it!

And now, let's get on with my weekly humiliation, LOL!


I'm a nice girl. Ordinarily, you'd think that would be a GOOD thing, right?  Yeah, I guess it kinda is.  I mean as far as I know nobody hates me or has ever called me a bitch (with the odd exception of an angry daughter or two).

Truth be told, though, sometimes I wish I wasn't so nice.  Sometimes I wish I could be just a little bit mean, or at least less concerned with other people's feelings.  Life would be so much simpler if I could just say, "Leave me the hell alone!" y'know?

For example....

My senior year in high school, I was working at McDonald's (it was within walking distance from my house, not a career aspiration).

I worked with a guy we'll call Bob. I dreaded working with him because he was the quintessential screw off.  He was short, round, crass, and lazy.  I'm not sure how old he was. In his twenties, I think. 

He was also crushing on me.

Big time.

I swear I didn't do ANYTHING to encourage him.

Other than being my normal, nice self that is.


He did all the usual flirtatious things.  He complimented me.  Always seemed to appear near to where I was working.  Made excuses to talk to me.  He dropped hints about us going out. I made sure I talked about other plans for my weekends so he'd think I was busier than I was.  I didn't want him to ask that dreaded question.  I didn't want to actually have to turn him down.

One day he gave me a cassette tape (remember those?).  He'd called in to a late night radio show to dedicate a song to me.  It was really sweet, and I wished to hell there were some interest on my part but it just was NOT going to happen.

Off topic vent:  Why is it no man I've ever been interested in did that sort of thing for me?  hmmmm?

I didn't know what to say about the tape. I was flummoxed.  So, I told him my tape player ate the tape.  Yeah, I probably could have come up with something better.  I'm a lousy liar.  I just couldn't stand the thought of hurting his feelings.

Oh, and I was a big fat chicken, too.

The tape had escalated things.  It was just a matter of time before he got up the courage to actually ask me out and I don't know what I would say.  Could I really say no?

Desperate times called for desperate measures.

I went to the florist and ordered myself a nice big bouquet of flowers to be delivered to work when I wasn't there.  I forget what I put on the card, it wasn't Secret Admirer, but I didn't use a name.  Something delightfully ambiguous.

What a stir the flowers created!  By the time I got there, everyone had a theory who they were from.  I was cracking up (inwardly) listening to the amateur sleuths proclaim to all who'd listen exactly who the flowers were from.  Some were convinced they recognized the handwriting.  It was so funny!  I thoroughly enjoyed that afternoon.

The flowers cooled Bob's attentions for awhile, but his love was not to be denied.

As you shall see.

I would often babysit for my manager's kids.  She asked me to watch them one night when I didn't have to work.  I agreed.  She didn't live that far from me, but she said she'd come by to pick me up.  Fine.

Only, when the appointed time came SHE never showed.  Bob did. And he brought his buddy.  I think his name was Eric.  He also worked with us.  Don't worry, I'm not about to introduce any kind of warped love triangle or anything.

In fact, this picture reminds me of Eric:


(Sorry I couldn't find a pic that resembled Bob.  Think Danny DeVito with glasses and shaggy hair)

No, I've never seen Eric in a light up costume, but I really wouldn't be surprised if he owns one.

So anyway, there they were.  On my doorstep.  Expecting to take me out.

I didn't want to go.


...what could I say?  I obviously couldn't say I had plans because they KNEW I was supposed to be babysitting.  I was trapped and they knew it.


See, this is where it would be nice if I'd had a spine or a mean streak.  I could've  just said, "Leave me the hell alone" or "Not gonna happen boys" and closed the door on them.

But I didn't.

I couldn't shake the nice girl.  I went with them.  We saw one of the Batman movies (whichever one had Vicki Vail in it), then went to breakfast afterward.

And you know what?  

It didn't totally suck.

Don't get me wrong.  There was NO love connection.  Not an even a "hey, these guys could be my friends" kind of epiphany.  But listening to the two of them bicker all night was highly amusing.  Plus they insisted on paying so I got a free movie and meal out of it. 

I don't remember what happened after that.  Maybe I quit, maybe he decided I wasn't all that special after all.  Maybe I made my scheming manager tell him to back off as punishment for setting me up.  I don't know.  But I didn't have to dodge him after that night.

NEXT Monday I'll flip to the other side of the crush coin and tell you about the guy I WAS interested in!


Lia Victoria said...

No mocking here :]. I will say, receiving flowers from yourself is nice. But imagine if he had delivered you the flowers, in front of everybody at McDonalds.

Welcome to my freshman year Valentine's day. I went home and sobbed.

Lenny said...

hi miss vicki! im real happy you got a free movie and some food out of it. im more happy you stayed a nice person. sometimes when youre a nice person its real hard to say no and people know it and could get you to do stuff you dont want to do. one of my brothers is like that but now he does better at saying no. hes got NO cards in his wallet and pulls them out when he needs help to say no. ha ha. i hope you always stay just the really nice person you are with some nos tossed in when you need them.
...hugs and smiles from lenny

JustineDell said...

What song was on the tape?!?! This story is hilarious!!

BTW, I got my shoes!! THANKS!!! Oh, but they didn't fit. What the heck??? Emily tried them on and guess what? a glove. ;-) She loves them.


Wendy Ramer said...

I would have been so pissed. But like you, I would have gone b/c I wouldn't have had the courage to say it to their faces.

I actually got bullied into kissing a guy I found physically repulsive after already being guilted into a date with him so my dear friend could go out with his gorgeous friend. I'm not sure why, but I'm still friends with that girl to this very day. (owner of the Jensen Beach condo)

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I can't wait to read next Monday's post.

I would have been pissed off big time at the manager. But because I was shy back then, I wouldn't have said anything.

I met a guy a dance club one night. I must have been bored and started talking to him . . . and told him where I worked. I gave him a fake phone #, so he showed up at the department store I worked. Again I must have been too nice to him, because the next thing I knew he was working there, too. I quit that day (I was contemplating leaving anyway because of another job). He was a nice guy, but it felt too stalkerish for me.

Lydia Kang said...

Vicki, I love your stories! This one reminded me of a a guy who had a crush on me, and showed his love by diagramming a cell. He was my bio partner in college. There might have been a "you are pretty" somewhere in the mitochrondria, I'm not sure.

Mary said...

Isn't great to know so many of us suffered this sort of thing.
Vicki, you are one fine lady.

Giggles and Guns

DL Hammons said...

That was GREAT! Loved it. I'd like to believe that I'm not so dense that I couldn't take a hint...especially ones as obvious as yours were. LOL

Matthew Rush said...

You really are a sweet heart Vicki. I'm glad that night didn't totally suck.

There was a girl who would follow me home from school everyday in 2nd grade (this is when neighborhoods were safe enough for kids to walk home). It got so annoying that I ended up hitting her with my backpack. I couldn't think of anything else to do.

Jolene said...

Oh man, we've all been there, or somewhere near...

Elana Johnson said...

Great story! Can't wait for next week's installment...

Rose Cooper said...

That is so funny!! But we have to wait till Monday? really?! That's great though, I think we can all relate on some level. I was once that "nice girl" too!

Carolyn V. said...

Wow, that is a great story! I love the pic! I had this weird geek guy have a thing for me in high school too. Except I found out he was kind of cool. We've been married now for 18 years. Funny how things turn out. ;)

Mary McDonald said...

OMG! I would have been so mad at my boss if she'd have done that! That was really nice of you to go out with them anyway.

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

That was great, Vicki! My Mum made me go out with this really "nice" guy who worked at the grocery store when I was in love connection for me either.

Susan Fields said...

I can't believe your boss did that! There's got to be a law against that or something.

Nicole MacDonald said...

hehehehe you fell for that!?! I love it! Hope you've toughened up since *grin*