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Monday, July 19, 2010

Mock Me Monday - The Crush II

One of the greatest advantages of moving from an Iowa town of about 7,000 to Las Vegas (population at the time about 200,000) was, to put it simply: the men.  


Now moving from a town of 250 to 7,000 a few years before was a huge improvement, but this was a whole new level. Guys in my new school dressed up.  Not shirts and ties or anything, (as if!) but they wore what would equate today to office casual.  Dockers or designer jeans, nice button down shirts, sweaters, etc.  Back home?  Faded jeans and tshirts...with the odd flannel here and there. 


I was in girl Heaven.  These guys were better looking, better groomed, more worldly and sophisticated.  My first day of school I was overwhelmed with the variety.  Ahhhhh....I was going to love school!


First week of school (junior year) we were sent to the cafeteria to take some literacy tests.  State law said we had to pass them to graduate.  And since illiteracy was a problem, they started testing junior year to identify problem students to give them the extra help they needed.


Being a product of a good Iowa education, these tests were a breeze. So while waiting for time on oneof the tests to expire, I surveyed the room.  So much eye candy in one room.  I still wasn't used to this visual overload.


Then I saw him.  Across the room.  The most exquisite specimen of manliness I'd ever seen.  Six foot three, (yeah, he was sitting down at the time, but I could tell he was tall and I later confirmed in the hallways). Sandy blonde hair, slightly wavy with perfect highlights which may or may not have come from a bottle.  (Normally I prefer dark haired men, but I made an exception for this specimen.  I couldn't see his eyes from across the room, but I later discovered they were hazel.  


Swoon.


I learned his name was Brian. He was a senior, and his locker wasn't far from mine. I learned half the girls in the school were in love with him.  I learned he came from a family with lotsa money.  He drove a BMW to school, impressive for me at the time, but in Vegas, it wasn't that unusual.


So, I watched. 


He seemed shy.  He didn't talk much to anyone.  I was shy!  He could talk to ME!


I pined.


Oh, to have him stopping by my locker and smiling at me, walking me to class even though it meant he'd be late for his.


I fantasized.


About everything.  Dropping secret admirer notes in his locker.  (I wrote them, just never dropped them!)
About going to a football game with him. 
About ... well, everything.
I knew we'd be perfect together, we just needed a chance to meet and talk.




Meanwhile....


My girlfriend worked in the Dean's office.


One day, when she was left alone, she pulled his file (completely her idea!)


She gave me his phone number.


It burned in my hand.  I was scared to death, but I had it really bad.  


So I rehearsed.  I wrote out every possible conversation angle. 


One night, after two weeks of procrastination preparation, I took a deep breath and called.


I asked for Brian.


I thought I would pass out waiting for him to pick up the phone.  Sweaty palms, speeding heart, dry mouth.


And then...it happened!  He picked up.


"Hello?" 






AND HE SOUNDED 
LIKE A TWELVE YEAR OLD GIRL!!!!!




Yes, this big beefy trophy to masculinity had a girl's voice.




I hung up.


I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!  


A day or so later, I tried again.  It couldn't have been that bad, surely.  And maybe it was his sister coming to tell me he wasn't home or something.  


So I psyched myself up again.  Dialed the number.  Asked for Brian.


I waited.


And waited.


And that same damn pre-pubescent girl voice picked up the phone.


I just couldn't do it.


I mean NONE of my fantasies involved a girl voice whispering sweet nothings in my ear.


So, I hung up again.


And never called back.


I moved on to Mark.

21 comments:

Lenny said...

i hope mark had a guys voice! ha ha. fantasys are cool. i got a bunch of them. right now its about hitting the game winning home run at the last game of the world series. then it gets busted when i go to my for real game and strike out 4 times in a row! ugh. sometimes whats in the real world just sucks. ha ha.
...smiles from lenny

Susan Fields said...

I'm so proud of you that you actually called! I'd never have the guts.

Mason Canyon said...

Ever wonder what that voice sounds like now?

Mason
Thoughts in Progress

Justine Dell said...

ROFL!!! Great Vicki! Too funny! I wouldn't have had the balls to call once, let alone twice. So, how did it go with Mark after that?? ;-)

~JD

Kristi said...

Seriously, this just MADE my Monday. You go girl! And I'm with Justine...I want to know about Mark...

Matthew Rush said...

Cute.

laurel said...

Hilarious! though I have to admit, when you brought up looking in his file, I thought it would contain the deal-breaker--evidence he'd been in psychiatric lock-down ward the previous two years or something like that. Whew.

If it makes you feel any better, in HS I had a huge crush on a guy two years younger than I because of his voice. He was kind of short and average looking, but dang, he was a Bass 2 in choir and spoke in this really gravely voice. Swoon. :-)

Lydia Kang said...

I love your stories! You really know how to draw out the tension, geez Louise!

I had the same feeling about Taylor Lautner. I thought, okay, he's cute, he's got some nice pecs, and then I heard him doing a monologue on SNL (I don't remember what his voice sounded like in the movie) and I was like, "He sounds like a mouse." And there went the attraction.

aspiring_x said...

oh man was this AWESOME! hilarious- suspenseful
*hits subscribe button*

voice! i never would have though about voice!
*writes "flesh-out sound of character voices" on post-it note!*

THANK YOU!!!!

Shelley Sly said...

Haha! That's hilarious. :D Glad I found your blog. I'll be following!

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Hahahahaha! Oh you poor thing. And poor Brian to have a voice like that. What a huge bubble to burst....

Tahereh said...

OMG I AM LOLLING SO HARD RIGHT NOW OMGGGG

Jolene said...

That's awesome! My brother in law is forty and still sounds like a woman! I can never tell if he or my sister is the one who says, "hello." When I call. Too funny!

Jolene said...

Ha! I just realized how much caller id messed things up.

Dawn said...

OMG. That's hilarious. I wrote a scene in my YA book similar to that. And *cough* have been guilty of one or two "call, hang up" moments in my youth.

Carole Anne Carr said...

Happened to me - it turned out to be his sister!

Kimberly Franklin said...

Oh snap! LOL. I can't believe he sounded like a girl.

And I love the way you say Girl Heaven. Haha. Love it!!

Janet Johnson said...

Oh man! Poor guy. Dumped for his voice and he never knew it. :D

Julie Musil said...

What a hilarious story! Poor guy, I wonder when he ever go this manly voice. Just think, if he had call waiting back them you'd be so busted!

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

OMGoodness, Vicki! You are right ya is your thing!!! Great way to draw it out and draw us in....

Thanks for joining in on my random blog party...I thought I was replying to everyone's comments via blogger/gmail...I found out no one is getting emails from me. :( I haven't got a clue what I'm doing wrong....

Ed Pilolla said...

there's always a chink in the armor. very funny, and very well set up. i like how you made an exception for him and his hair. and the rehearsing before the phone call. that's a crush.