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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Directionally Challenged

If you should know anything about me, it might be that I have NO sense of direction at all.  

None.

Nada.
Zero.

Zip.

Zilch.

I ETERNALLY want to turn left when I should turn right.  

Everything looks familiar, so forget finding milestones to mark the route. 

Remember, if you're traveling with me by car or by foot, you want to be the one navigating.

Case in point:

We moved a bit when I was growing up.  We averaged a major move every 4 years.  And by major I mean, completely out of town and often out of state.

So, it seemed as soon as I started to figure out how to get around in one place I had to start breaking a new one in.  

I learned to strut around as if I knew EXACTLY where I was going, when in fact I was clueless and always on the verge of being lost.  I even had a teacher comment on it once when he was advising us to "fake it until we make it".  He said something to the effect, "Just watch Vicki.  She looks like she knows where she's going, but she'll walk past the room three times before she comes in."  

(And yeah, I probably did).

So anyway, during Thanksgiving break in 8th grade, we moved from small town (250 people) to a larger one of about 7,500. 

Greaaaaaaaaaaaaat, (please note heavy sarcasm) another new school to figure out.

My old school had several floors, but us underlings were confined to one floor while the upper classmen used the rest.  My new school had three floors, and I had classes on all of them.  Like most students, I lived in fear of not making it to my next class before the bell rang.  Now having three floors to navigate, the fear intensified.

I don't know about you, but when I am stressed, I don't think straight.  Hell, I don't think at all.  

One day early on, I exited my classroom and needed to go to the third floor for my next class.

But I could not find the stairs going up.  I walked from one end of the school to the other, but only found stairs going down.  I was confused, weren't the stairs going up right beside the others before?  

Finally, freaked beyond all rational thought, I asked someone where the stairs were to the third floor.

and she told me I was ON the third floor.

I coulda died.  What a bonehead.

Go ahead...it's okay to laugh.


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21 comments:

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Ha ha ha! Funny story, Vicki, but you'll never, EVER top the panty hose!!!!! :-)

aspiring_x said...

lol. i have an excellent sense of direction outside, but get me inside a building and everything goes kaput. :)

Kristi said...

I love these stories Vicki! Love them! And I've SO done that before. It's like looking for the sunglasses that are perched on top of your head! DOH! ;-)

Happy Wednesday!

Mason Canyon said...

Great post. When I was in high school, my best friend and I would say right when we meant left to confuse people. We did it so much now I have to stop and think it's my other left. LOL

Mason
Thoughts in Progress

Matthew Rush said...

Oh that's good. Thanks Vicki.

Lydia Kang said...

You are such a hoot! I'm one of those people with a compass set in my brain, so I always get a kick out of people with no sense of direction.
That was so funny!

Dawn said...

I totalIy didn't realize how absolutely directionally challenged I was until I started "dancing" - my feet definitely dance to a different beat :-(

Talli Roland said...

Oh no... I feel for you! I was always terrified of being late for class. I'm sure I'll have nightmares tonight based on your story!

Jolene said...

Wow, that would suck. I have always had a good sense of direction, it's come in handy many, many times.

Saumya said...

Haha, I have no sense of direction either. Hey, that would make for a cute character quirk!!

Wendy Ramer said...

So no girls' roadtrip in our future, eh? I'm actually pretty good with directions and orientation, but eventually I'd want to sleep, ya know?

Rose Cooper said...

You are so funny! Sometimes at work (like yesterday) I push the elevator button for the third floor, but it likes to stop at the 2nd floor for no reason at all, and I get out there. I walk around the building wondering why nothing is where it should be until I look out the window and realize i'm not as far up as I need to be. sigh. I can relate to your moments, but I agree, getting caught in those moments are even worse!

The question I kept thinking while reading your post was--why couldn't you just down the stairs going down and walk up them instead. Duh! Lets forget I mentioned that :)

L'Aussie said...

One of those stories that's only funny afterwards. We all have the right to be boneheads at times..:)

Carolyn V. said...

Oh no! I hate having one of those moments, especially in high school. I was always nervous about going to my locker and forgetting my combination.

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

Lol. I have no sense of direction either. :)

Julie Musil said...

Your stories crack me up, and make me not feel so bad being a goofball either. Thanks for the laughs!

Theresa Milstein said...

I think you need a cell phone GPS. I'm like you with driving, and my car GPS has made me a much less stressed driver when going to new places.

I won't laugh at you because I've posted several blogs about doing similar things when trying to find classrooms at the high school. One time, I thought the class code # was the classroom #.

My last post gives a link to Minder on Amazon.

Jackee said...

Hilarious! Especially since you called yourself a bonehead. Too funny.

I have a hard time with opposites too. In fact, I almost failed my driver's test @ 16 because I went left when they said right. I've heard there is a form of dyslexia for opposites--maybe both of us need to get checked for that. LOL!

Little Ms J said...

I am a compass. I don't know how, but if you shake me I will land right side up and lead you exactly where you need to go. I do, however, have a very bad habit of tuning people out. The worst was in seventh grade when we were changing classes and I never even noticed because my nose was in a book I wasn't supposed to be reading. I was ten minutes late because I didn't hear the three kids standing around me yelling at me to snap out of it. I do it at work now too.... Oh well.

notesfromnadir said...

As soon as I saw the title I thought it was a blog I could relate to and it sure was. I've done that searching for stairs routine many times. When I drive I get lost. I don't have a GPS because I'm sure that I would get lost even w/ that device. I get more lost when driving than when I'm walking. Sometimes it's beneficial as I find new places. So there is a positive side to being "directionally challenged"! :)

Lenny said...

hi miss vicki! thats sooooo funny. i could just see you turning red when you found out you were where you were supposed to be. ha ha. one of my brothers who never ever got lost driving anywhere got lost in a big tall parking garage. he kept circling round and round and up and down and couldnt find the exit. ha ha. then he saw a car pulling out to leave and followed it til he got out. we dont ever let him forget about it. ha ha.
...hugs from lenny