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Monday, June 14, 2010

Mock Me Monday - Insert Foot Here

I have a gift.

Unfortunately for me, this gift is the uncanny ability to say the wrong thing at the wrong time.  What's more, I can  be blissfully unaware of my faux pas until people either crack up around me or are giving me the look.

A few years ago, I was working for a software development company in the marketing department.  Correction.  I was the marketing department, although I'll be the first to admit I didn't know what the hell I was doing...but I tried.

It was a great place to work back then.  We were always joking around and having fun.  Working hard, but having a good time in the process.  One of the guys had gone off to a conference somewhere and returned with those little give away trinkets you always find.  The favorite trinket was something kinda like this:

Only the one he had lit up when you squeezed it.  It was totally cool, and he roamed the halls and cubicle land with it in his hand all the time.  I'd have done the same thing if it had been mine. "Be jealous y'all.  I have a light up stress ball."  hahaha.  (okay maybe it's not that funny)

Anyway, one of my duties as the marketing manager was to coordinate proposal efforts for federal initiatives.   I was also in charge of obtaining our 8a and CMMI certifications.  This means I had to frequently enlist the help of others.  I don't remember which of those I was working on when I went into the engineering manager's office to ask him some questions.  He pulled something up on his computer, I crossed around to his side of the desk to get a better look.

I happened to glance down at his desk and into the little pencil holder thing on his desk and said, 

(I can't believe I'm going to share this so publicly)

(I might even blush)

 I said....

"Oh!  You have TWO balls!"

As if that wasn't bad enough, there's more.

(Before reading on, please put all beverages and food items DOWN.  I shall not be responsible for the accidental inhalation of Doritoes (yeah, I've done that) or the spewage of tea out the nose.  You have been warned)

I said.....

"Can I play with this one?"

Yes, I'm afraid I did.

He very nearly fell out of his chair laughing.

After he had composed himself, he dashed off to share the juicy tidbit with the rest of the office.


And now I have shared with you.  When you have caught your breath you might want to make sure you've signed up for the Blackjack Contest tomorrow.  I've been prepping things on my's going to be a great game, that's all I gotta say!  Check back in the morning, because SOME of you are going to want me to HIT you.

Go HERE for the rest of the details.


Theresa Milstein said...

Oh, poor you! If they'd just named them stress smushers, you'd have been safe. "You have two smushers? May I have one smusher?"

Mason Canyon said...

Oh, I hate to admit it but I probably would have said the same thing without thinking. Thanks for the laugh.

Thoughts in Progress

Janet Johnson said...

LOL! So many ways to say a faux pas! Amazing what we can survive, when we should be dying of embarrassment. :)

Jaydee Morgan said...

I suffer from foot in mouth disease as well along with a bad case of sarcasm. This can lead to many uncomfortable and embarrassing situations. I loved your faux pas - and the laugh that came with it :)

Jennifer Shirk said...

Oh. MY. Gosh. That is hilarious!!!

Lydia Kang said...

That was so funny. I'm glad I put my boiling hot tea down for this one.

Jen said...

Oh my gosh I might die laughing!!! I've done this one too many times, and in the work place it is normally followed by my face lighting up like a stop sign!!!

Glad to know I'm not the only one! Thanks for making my day!

Creepy Query Girl said...

LOL- reminds me of the time I was doing my presentation in front of my University American History class of about 100 students. It was 'prohibition'. At the end of my presentation, one of the guys raised his hand and jokingly asked if I was of 'dry' or 'wet' sentiment. And without thinking I just blurted out. 'Ya,I'm definetly wet'

Zoe C. Courtman said...

HA! Nice. Thanks for the Monday smile :D

Tahereh said...

LOOOOOOOL omgggggg

Dawn said...

OMG. That's fabulous - and so something I would have said. Thank you for making me laugh out loud.

Anonymous said...

Oh! That's totally something I'd have said. :D

I have the same problem as well: inserting foot in mouth.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

ROFL. I'm soooo glad I'd put down my Diet Coke BEFORE I got to the part about him having TWO balls. I would have spewed it across the screen even before getting to the next part. :D

Thanks for making my day!

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

OMG. Thanks for the warning. Another tea-nose spewage would not have been fun.
I have the same problem with foot in mouth syndrome. lol.

Lenny said...

ha ha. my mom use to say its good when we could laugh at our self and you did. and you shared it out and got all of us laughing with you. thats pretty neat and lots of fun. ...hugs from lenny

Bethany Elizabeth said...

That's really funny. :) But life is getting more difficult - at least, it's not as easy to avoid innuendos as it used to be. Maybe it's just cause I'm older, but it seems like I can't say ANYTHING around my friends without setting them up for a perfect 'that's what she said' joke. *sigh*

elizabeth mueller said...

ROFL!! Aw, you are soooo funny!! Did you blush?? I do love those stress balls, though! ;)

Julie Musil said...

That is so funny! Imagine how many times that story has been told!

Kimberly Franklin said...

Oh no you didn't! Lol. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! Haha!!!

Rayna M. Iyer said...

You mean you said something you shouldn't have?
*looks around suspiciously* Why is everyone looking at me like that?