Yes, you read that right. Pee. Not the letter P, not the vegetable pea. We're talking number 1 pee.
Well, because this is my blog and I get to write about whatever I want.
(*sticks out tongue*)
But seriously, I have two reasons. One, bad things happen when I don't listen to my instincts. Two, because I work in a small office.
I took my son to see Shrek the other night for his birthday. In the middle of the movie he had to go to the bathroom. We took care of business, and finished the movie. As we were walking out, that little voice in my head told me I should ask him to go to the bathroom again. My rational brain (you know the part that thinks it knows better) overruled. Hadn't he just gone less than an hour ago?
(you probably know where I'm going with this...but let me set the stage)
We were a mile from our house. There's a convenience store on the corner which would be the last public bathroom. That voice whispered to me again, but I stayed in my lane. We were 2 minutes from home, and he wasn't saying anything.
The minute I went through the intersection he started writhing in the backseat. He had to GO. And NOW.
I didn't have time to go around the block to get back to the convenience store.
So I did what I had to do. I pulled into a parking lot and got out and let him pee right there in the parking lot.
What? It was either that or I was going to have a seat that smelled like pee for a week. I'm just glad he was a boy because I don't know what I'd have done if it was one of my girls!
Okay, so the second reason we're talking about pee today is because I work in a small office.
Just the boss and me. The office is in his rental house. It's a small 2 bedroom not more than 1,000 square feet. Our desks and equipment are in the combined living/dining room, the bedrooms are primarily storage. The bathroom is in the hall roughly even with my desk.
When I first started a couple years ago, I was
shocked dismayed surprised to discover when boss man went into the bathroom that I could hear everything that went down even though the door was closed and fan was on.
That meant, of course, that he could probably hear me too.
Now, I should say that I'm not shy. I'm not one of those people who can't go when other people are around. At home, nobody ever locks the bathroom door unless there's company. Okay, not true. My oldest now locks the door, and that's fine. It's just a part of life, it's completely natural so if someone just *has* to come in to wash their hands while I'm in there, I'm okay with that. It's not like they SEE anything.
But it's a little different at work...especially when it's a new job.
So I have perfected the art of the silent pee.
Yes, that's right, I can go without making any noise. It's a handy talent, let me tell ya! The easiest way is, of course, to toss a wad of toilet paper in the bowl and aim for it. But some paper absorbs water in the bowl faster than others and so this could backfire on you. Another way is to (ahem) 'aim' for the porcelain, not the water.
So, now I turn it over to you. Where is the most unusual place you've ever taken care of business? And if you really truly have never gone anywhere except a designated bathroom, at least have the decency to lie to me and say you do it in the pool or shower or something!
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