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Monday, May 31, 2010

Water Gate - Mock Me Monday

Some of my greatest bonehead moments have been repressed.  It makes looking in the mirror easier.

But sometimes those memories come back.

In this case, YOU get to benefit.  I'll relive this humiliation JUST for you. 

This might just be the poster-child of Mock Me Monday.

First, a little background.

Back in 2001, I was pregnant with Miss K.  I was very worried about being alone when I went into labor.  My first pregnancy - the daughter I'd placed with an adoptive family in 1991 - went REALLY fast.  From the first contraction to delivery was about 3 hours. I was nervous with my next daughter (1995), but she turned out to be a scheduled C-Section since she was breech. 

For those of you who don't know, generally speaking each subsequent delivery tends to be faster than the one before it. I think I was justifiably concerned about having the baby in the shower or at the reception desk at work. 

Repeat after me:  That would not be good.

We did what any self-respecting parents-to-be would do.  We made contingency plans.

Our daycare agreed to watch our oldest daughter if my mom couldn't make the 2 hour drive in time.  Our neighbor at the time agreed to watch Miss C if labor struck in the middle of the night.

I bought a special present for my oldest daughter to give to her the day I went into the hospital.

We got a temporary cell phone for my husband so I could reach him no matter where he was. (he was working for Pepsi back then, delivering soda all over the area).

We were set...just didn't know when the big moment would happen.

If you've had children, you know that the last few weeks you are on HYPER ALERT. 

Every twinge, every cramp, every gas bubble is analyzed as a possible sign.

You start to do things that could jump start labor.  

We researched old wive's tales looking for ways to spur this child onward.  I won't go through the whole list (blush) but there was a lot of walking, a lot of driving down bumpy roads, a lot of praying going on.

There wasn't a lot of sleeping going on though.  Sleeping while 9 months pregnant is a little uncomfortable.  I couldn't really roll.  I had to sort of hop and turn in little increments until I made it to the other side. 

I was too big to sleep on my stomach (of course) and too big to sleep on my back (baby would crush a vital artery and I would pass out--also not good).

Experts recommend putting a pillow between your knees.  This isn't bad advice, but it does make rolling over that much more difficult.  Plus, I needed one pillow under my head and a second to hug.  
My husband left for work, one morning so I stole his pillow in a last-ditch attempt to get comfortable.  I stuffed it between my knees, and drifted back to sleep.

When I woke up a few hours later, the pillow was wet.

OMG!  My water broke!


Errr, wait a minute.  The pillow wasn't soaked, just semi-soggy.  

So my water didn't break, but it looked like I was leaking.


Okay, I freaked out.  This was it!  This was it!  We'd have a baby today because once your water breaks/leaks there's a risk of infection so they have to deliver within 24 hours.  

ALL the baby shows said so.

And I had been watching those baby shows on TLC and Discovery since the day I discovered I was pregnant.  It's the only time I ever watch them.

YAYYYY it was finally time!  With a little luck I'd be holding my darling by the end of the day.

I called the doctor, he asked a thousand questions - are you contracting, how much fluid was there, was it clear, cloudy, bloody etc.  

I called hubs and told him.  
I called daycare and let her know.  
I called work to let THEM know. 

When I got to the hospital, I was concerned that I wasn't feeling any contractions.  They hooked me up to a monitor, and did an exam. I was only a centimeter looked like it was going to be a long day.

So much for my fear of sneezing and delivering the child in the shower.

And then the news came.  My water hadn't broken.  

AND it wasn't leaking.

I was confused...

the pillow was wet!  

How could that be?

As I trudged out of the hospital, I was mortified.  I'd wasted everyone's time for what looked like a bladder incident.

And then it hit me...I'm a little slow sometimes.

The pillow was wet 


my darling husband had 


all over it!!!!

I was still plenty embarrassed, but more than a little relieved it hadn't been my bladder...although to this day I'm sure the doctors and nurses think I PEED on the pillow.

Because I had called so many people to tell them I was going to the hospital, I had the joy of telling this story again and again the rest of the day. 


Carole Anne Carr said...

Lived through the experience as you described it, as had something similar happen. I had my children in the heat of Africa and was so hot I soaked the bed with gallons of sweat - ugh! Then was accused of wetting the bed... can't win them all... :0)

Wendy Ramer said...

My Monday confession. I am that woman who peed and thought her water broke. Good news is that since it was my due date and South Florida was under a Hurricane Watch, my OB agreed to induce labor so I wouldn't have to come back to the hospital the next day under a Hurricane Warning. First child was born less than 24 hours later.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

That is too funny! My first born was three months premature, so I feared every twinge during my next two pregnancies. My third child decided to be patient (#2 was 4 weeks early). I ate spicy food two days before my due date. It worked. I went into labor 5 hours later. Okay, nothing happened when I tried that two weeks before.

With #2, my water broke as I got off the elevator . . . in front of everyone waiting in OB. And when I say broke, I mean a waterfall like gush . . . like in the movies. ;) If it wasn't for the wicked contraction, it would have been really embarrassing. Thirty minutes later, my son was born.

Jen said...

Oh my goodness how funny, now at least, during the time I would have been mortified as well! A great story though to share for life! I actually assumed you had peed as well until I saw drooled.

I have never been pregnant but you're at least giving me a jump start on what it would feel like. Gotta watch out for those drooling husbands!

Dawn said...

Your husband has some amazing drool power, sugar :-) Thanks for making me smile...I'm smiling WITH you. Thank you for sharing.

Talli Roland said...

Hahaha! That's hilarious! Oh, your darling husband...

Sandy Shin said...

:) Eek, I'd also be mightily embarrassed, too -- but it's definitely something I'd be able to laugh at afterward.

Thanks for sharing it with us! :)

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

Oops, I'd be slightly embarrased too. But, like Sandy said, at least you can laugh about it now. :)

Julie Musil said...

I thought for sure you were going to tell us you peed on the pillow! The drool was a surprise for me. That's so funny.

Hope you enjoyed your award!