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Friday, April 30, 2010

LIAR LIAR - The answers

1. I was once mistaken for Anna Nicole Smith.  NOT in person, no no...we don't look anything alike, I assure you.  But I did get a series of phone calls from directors and whatnot when I was living in Vegas. I used to be a Smith you see and I was in the phone book (she wasn't).
This is TRUE.  Before she was Anna Nicole, she was Vickie something Smith and was a dancer in Vegas.  I had just moved in with my boyfriend (now hubby) and SHE was Playboy's Playmate of the Month (May 1992 for you curious men out there...).  Since I was in the phone book, I had directors and all sorts of horny men calling me offering to fly me to NYC, LA, Chicago to do commercials or movies, etc.  They wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't who they were looking for.

2. A few years ago, my husband and I went to Vegas on vacation.  I had a friend who had a pilot's license so while my hubby was off golfing with his friend, we went up in a little Cessna touring the Vegas Valley by air.  It was all going great, except those little planes don't have air conditioning.  I am pre-disposed to heat stroke, and this was AUGUST so it didn't take long for the heat to get the best of me and I ended up throwing up all over myself.
This one is also TRUE.  I hadn't actually met this friend in person before as he lived in California and I lived in Iowa.  He flew to Vegas just to take me for a spin - how nice was that?  Then I ralphed all over myself.  Dear God, not the kind of impression I wanted to leave anyone with.  hahaha.  I sent my girlfriend an email after it happened and she not only laughed her butt off, she read the email to everyone in her office!

3. I dated a guy once that my friend flagged down for me on the Vegas Strip.  He told me his name was Michael, and after a few weeks of dating, he invited me to go bowling with his sister and a couple other people.  Everyone was calling him George, and at first I thought it was a joke, but he confessed later that night his real name was George and he told me it was Michael because he hated George.  
This one is TRUE.  My friend followed us in her car but lost us in the traffic.  This is before cell phones, so she was panicked.  When George/Michael finally took me home, we were sitting in the car talking and my overprotective older brother took his license plate down and called it in to see if there were any warrants out on him (nope).

4. I dated a guy once that worked as a taxi driver.  Someone stole his little zippered pouch of cash one night.  After he got off work he came over and picked me up and we drove by the Prime Suspect's house.  I should mention that the whole reason he suspected these particular individuals was because of their race, which I found so distasteful, we broke up soon after. NOT a supporter of racial profiling!  Anyway, while I waited in the car, he snuck around the car and stole their garbage can!  Stuck it in the trunk of his car (sideways)  and drove to a remote location to sift through it to see if the pouch was in there. It wasn't.
OMG, how I wish this weren't true.  In retrospect I'm not sure what I ever saw in this guy.  He was a little odd from the get go.  Washed his shoes with an old toothbrush and Comet.  He's going to inspire a character someday, that'll show him! heh heh heh.

5. I pulled the fire alarm at school once.  I was in second or third grade. I'd gotten the hall pass to go to the bathroom, and on the way back to my room, I was running my hand along the concrete wall enjoying the feel of the bumps under my fingers.  The red fire box was right outside my class room.  My eyes were glued to it as I approached.  I swear I had the little angel-devil on my shoulders duking it out, just like on cartoons.  I wasn't going to pull it, but at the last minute the devil won and I gave it a yank. There was a two second delay before the siren went off, which let me get just inside the classroom door.  I whispered the secret to my best friend when were lined up outside and I'm SURE she ratted on me though she swore she didn't. I was grounded for a month.
So obviously, being the only one left, THIS is the lie.  I've always wanted to pull the dumb thing just to see what would happen.  But I've always been WAY too well-behaved to try it.  I hate being seated by the exit door in the air plane because there's part of me that really wants to open up the door even if we are  six miles above the ground.  If you're on a flight with me, you might wanna keep an eye on me...

How'd you do?  This was so much fun...I should tag someone else to do this to keep the fun rolling, but I'm tired so I'll just ask you to volunteer instead.  Alert me if you do, so I can hop over and take a look!

EXERCISE: 30 mins over lunch.  Used one of the programs on the elliptical, and I don't know if it's possible to screw it up, but the little display said I was workin' my glutes, but I'd feel it everywhere else butt (hahaha pun intended).
WATER: Six glasses
BOOK: I had a new idea so I sketched that out real quick before I lost it.

SATURDAY - I am posting a snippet of Miss K's that will bust you up! 
SUNDAY - I am posting a cute poem of Miss C's (the big sister) that she wrote when she was 7 or 8.   


Jen said...

Can I just say WOWZA!!!! I love all the truths, I am still in shock on most of them, sitting at my desk barely having any words to say on the subject...

Great post, I love getting to know these interesting facts about you!!

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Wow to the truths! Love the Anna Nicole one. Aren't you glad your life was never as complicated as hers was?

Matthew Rush said...

I just saw that you won that lunch. I just wanted to stop by to say a HUGE congratulations! That's freaking awesome.

MissV said...

Jen, I really had trouble coming up with lies that sounded realistic! I'm such a truth-teller it was hard to lie on purpose!

Stina, How I found out it was Anna Nicole is kinda funny. YEARS later I was thinking of getting that fateful issue of Playboy for my hubby's birthday. So I was Googling Vickie Smith Playboy 1992 and all sorts of combinations. Some rather questionable photos popped up on my screen JUST when one of the guys I work with came up to my desk. Woops.

Matt, I'm so excited I can't even sit still. I ALMOST withdrew my entry the day after I entered because my MS isn't done and I didn't want to waste anyone's time. But I figured, hey it's only lunch not a pitch session and what are the odds I'm gonna win anyway? I should've known better - I'm infamously lucky like that.

Talli Roland said...

Great truths, especially the first one! Thanks for letting us get to know you better!

~Nicole Ducleroir~ said...

I puke in Cessnas too, heat or none. Just thinking about going up in one makes me feel green. And hubby is getting his pilot's licence!

Have a great weekend!

Lydia Kang said...

Ha ha ha! I was right! *Doing a dance of victory*

It's so nice to learn more about my online friends! Wow, I can't believe some of that stuff really happened to you!

Zoe C. Courtman said...

Haha-those were great! Thanks for sharing :D Great blog - just found it today. Following!

Shannon said...

Those truths were incredibly entertaining! Thanks so much for sharing! And congrats on the lunch!

Tahereh said...




you are obviously tre tre cool.

loves it!

AND CONGRATS ON WINNING A DATE WITH JANET REID you lucky duck you!! you must take lots and lots and lots of pictures!! and video!! and steal her napkin!!


<3 you!

Diane J. said...

Congrats on the Lunch win, how exciting. Of course, we're going to want to hear ALL about it. Promise to share?

I enjoyed your True/False, that was fun.

MissV said...

Talli - Whenever I tell someone my Anna Nicole story, they always tell me I should have let these directors fly me to NYC or Chicago. Maybe I should have...sounds like a book, doesn't it?

Nicole - Not the kind of thing I'd CHOOSE to have in common with someone, still it's comforting to know I'm not the only afflicted one! Very cool that your husband is getting his pilot's license.

Lydia - Congrats on pegging the right answer immediately! You deserve a prize of some sort...I wish I had something worthy of giving!

Zoe - Thanks for stopping by! I shall return the following favor shortly!

Shannon - I always thought I led a quiet/boring life until I started trying to compile this list. And I didn't even mention the Parrot Snake or the Singing Thief!

Taherah - You were really close. Definitely worthy of first runner up! I can't believe I won lunch. You made me spew Diet Coke with the steal her napkin comment. That would be hysterical! Remind me before I go and I'll see what I can do!

Diane - Thanks for stopping by! It'll be a few months before I can even THINK about going to NYC, but I promise to file a full report on my return.

Creepy Query Girl said...

Well, I got one right!!:)

MissV said...

Creepy, you were just trying to make me feel good, right? ;)

Dawn said...

Since our *relationship* is new, I didn't have a clue...but now seeing the answers I must congratulate you on your ability to fib (compliment, especially for a writer). I would have been hard pressed to choose.

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

Yay, I'm so glad the first few were truths, I wanted them to be :)

Anonymous said...

Being mistaken for Anna Nicole Smith is not a bad thing at all. Hopefully it was for her looks and not her incoherent behavior. Just kidding. Its fun getting to know you better. Have a great weekend.

Stephen Tremp

notesfromnadir said...

I really liked these posts. I thought that it was the fire alarm because it's just such a tempting thing, being on the wall within reach, waiting for someone to pull it. Will that someone be you???

Too bad about the taxi driver being racist. But he doesn't sound like the Travis Bickle character from the movie at least! And at least with this guy you dated there weren't any warrants out on him! :)

MissV said...

Dawn - I did have a bit of an unfair advantage here, didn't I? We'll see if I can fool you next time around!

Lindsay - haha, I'm happy to oblige you!

Stephen - I'm in no danger of being mistaken for ANS anytime soon, but she should be so lucky to be mistaken for me, right? hahahaha, totally kidding.

MissV said...

notesfromnadir - no warrants on THAT guy...but that does remind me of another story!